


Midday Train to London [+Podfic]

by xinasvoice



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Anal Sex, BDSM, Blow Jobs, Bondage, Explicit Consent, F/M, M/M, MAJOR THEMES:, MORE TAGS:, Multi, Polyamory, Power Exchange, Praise Kink, Public Sex, Safer Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Sex Clubs, Threesome, WARNINGS:, good first experiences, introduction to polyamory, introduction to the BDSM/kink community, mention of human trafficking, mention of past suicide (OC), nice Doms :), not all the pairings have onscreen sex scenes, the role of BDSM/kink in relationships, there is also Lily/Remus/Gideon in one scene, those are the major romantic and sexual pairings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-31 12:43:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 24,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15119648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xinasvoice/pseuds/xinasvoice
Summary: A newfashioned vanilla romance set in the poly and kink communities.





	1. The Train

**Author's Note:**

> Podfic duration: 2 hr 16 min 18 sec  
> ~ [.m4a audio file](https://soundcloud.com/user-824292289/midday-train-to-london) (248MB) ~ [ .m4b audiobook file](https://www.dropbox.com/s/vh55hbz8k1o22ad/01%20Midday%20Train%20to%20London.m4b?dl=0) (258MB) ~ [ Soundtrack, aka the mix that plays at The Marauders, curated by the one and only Lily Evans](https://8tracks.com/xinasvoice/marauders-clubmix) ~
> 
> Ending music is Past Lives by the BØRNS [Buy it on iTunes](https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/past-lives/1030969361?i=1030969370)
> 
> Thank you to my beta reader/listener, peak moon gay [ForeverShippingJohnlock](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForeverShippingJohnlock/works)
> 
> [Follow me on Tumblr](xinasvoice.tumblr.com)

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/158228914@N03/45417702195/in/dateposted-public/)

Casting a shifty eye around for the conductor, Remus pushed open the doors between the train cars and stepped into the car with the private compartments. He wasn't supposed to be in here—he had yet to live the kind of lifestyle that would encourage spending that much money on a midday train ride—but he was getting desperate. It was either this or be pressured to sit in the only remaining coach seat, which was right next to a group of middle-aged white businessmen who were clearly not impressed with their potential seatmate.

Remus wasn't sure whether it was his attire or his racially ambiguous features that had caused the looks. His skin, hair, and eyes were all similar shades of medium brown, thanks to long-lost possibly-Central-American ancestors. His mother said all their records had been burned in a fire in her childhood, but Remus had always wondered if there were other reasons for her keeping their heritage close to her chest. It was half his reason for traveling to her cottage in the country for brunch each week. Every Sunday morning he would make her breakfast. While she ate, he took notes, preparing to help write her life history. He hadn't made a whole lot of progress so far.

“ _Esperate, mijo_ ,” she would say if he ever tried to direct her to the thing he was most curious about instead of whatever she felt like talking about.

Regardless, the white men were talking rich people business and were clearly not interested in having a teacher with shabby canvas shoes and battered messenger bag sitting near them. So he snuck into the next car and started peeking into compartments. He knew from experience that if he sat in the seat that lay behind the door as it opened, the ticket-checkers would often not notice him.

After a few compartments of bad luck—mostly solitary travelers, but also a compartment filled with what must be half a youth footie team—he found an empty compartment.

“Hello.”

Remus jumped, turning to see that the compartment wasn't empty after all. There was a neatly-pressed man with dark hair sitting in the very blind spot he had been hoping to occupy himself.

“Oh, sorry! Wrong compartment…” He started to close the door, but the man caught the edge of it with his black leather shoe—a very expensive-looking dress shoe that was probably made from cows that had been lovingly pampered by their owners before being turned into high-priced fashion accessories.

“Hold up, we can share if you like.”

Remus bit his lip and looked down the narrow train corridor. There were only a few compartments left to check, and from the sound of it, one of them contained the other half of the youth footie team.

“Come on,” the stranger said. “I bite hard…but only when asked.”

This flirtatious comment sent a little shiver of caution up Remus’ spine, but he really was running out of options.

“Thanks.” Remus swung the compartment door shut and gave the stranger a smile of gratitude. The man smiled back at him so dazzlingly that Remus completely forgot about everything else for several seconds.

The stranger was shockingly handsome. His nose could very well have been modeled after a Greek statue, or the other way around, yet his eyes were narrow, suggesting some sort of Asian heritage. As he smiled, he removed one earbud, the tiny wireless kind Remus had never dared to invest in as he was sure to immediately lose one.

“Coach not treating you right, huh?” the man asked. “Here, you can have the sneaky seat. We’ve only got the two to choose from.” He scooted over to the window seat, gesturing with a grimace to the pair of seats opposite him, which were covered in a spray of half-dried coffee, adding, “That wasn't me.”

“Right, well, thanks.” Remus gladly accepted the offered seat, hoping this would be the extent of the conversation he was obliged to offer in return. His stop was over an hour away, and he didn't fancy spending the whole ride making small talk, no matter how attractive this man was. Unfortunately, the stranger didn't seem inclined to put his earbud back in, even when Remus pointedly pulled out his book and began reading. On the contrary, Remus could feel the man's eyes on him—and not just once in a while. He was positively staring, and he wasn't even trying to hide it.

Remus shifted in his seat and flicked his eyes up to the stranger’s with brief disapproval, conquering the urge to look again when he realized what an unusual light grey color the man’s eyes were.

“Sorry,” the man said. Out of the corner of his eye, Remus could see him smiling in a lazy, lopsided way. “I don't mean to bug you. It’s just…we know each other.”

Remus raised his eyebrows and allowed himself to give the stranger another good look, but the man was clearly mistaken. Remus would never have forgotten a face or eyes like this. “No, I don't think so.”

“We were both at Marlene’s party last Friday night.”

Remus lowered his book. “Oh! Yes, I was there…but I don't think I saw you. Sorry, it was pretty crowded. How do you know Marlene?”

“You saw me,” the man said, smirking and ignoring the question.

Remus shook his head with a polite smile. “I think I would remember.”

The man laughed and held his hair up as if he were making a ponytail, revealing that the sides and the back of his head were buzzed short with intricate spirals shaved in. His hair was thick enough that this had been entirely hidden when the top part was down. His hair had also hidden a row of empty holes running up the side of his ear—holes that, last Friday night, had held a series of jeweled studs, each a different color of the rainbow. Remus recognized both that and the line of the man’s jaw, but he hadn't gotten a good look at him from head-on until now.

He had not only seen this man at Marlene’s party, he had _stared_ at him as he snogged a beautiful black man, their tongues flashing visibly as the other man had trailed his dark-skinned fingers down this stranger’s pale neck.

“Sirius Black,” the man said, dropping his hair and holding out his hand.

“Remus. Remus Lupin, I mean,” Remus said awkwardly as he shook Sirius’ hand. “Sorry, I didn’t recognize you. You look…very different.”

The pressed white shirt, navy sweater vest, and perfectly creased dress slacks Sirius was wearing couldn't have been more different from last Friday’s black leather jacket, combat boots, and the kind of newly-fashionable jeans that had a dozen extra seams around the knees…not that Remus had spent much time looking at this man’s knees.

“So would you, if you’d spent the morning having brunch with my mother,” Sirius said, resting one ankle on his knee and leaning back against the window with a casualness more suited to last Friday’s outfit. “But yeah, I remember you. You and your overly drunk friend watched me getting off with James.”

“I—I wasn’t…Um. Sorry.” Remus avoided the man’s eyes. It hadn’t seemed like a big deal at that time—after all, the two men had hardly made any attempt to be discreet—but now he felt embarrassed to have been caught at it.

Sirius seemed more amused than upset. “Are you? We heard what you and your friend said, you know.”

Remus’ eyes widened, and he hurriedly brought his book back up, suddenly desperate for cover. “Oh?”

“Yep. Your friend—”

“Peter,” Remus blurted, irrelevantly.

“All right, Peter. He said, ‘Bet you’ve never snogged a guy like that,’ and you laughed and said, ‘I’ve never snogged a guy at all.’”

Remus’ cheeks burned. He stared at the words in front of him, now very much regretting taking this seat. He had been a bit high at the party, but that was no excuse for ogling strangers, and it was even worse to have his careless words thrown back at him. He should probably say something, but he was too busy trying to sink into the floor.

“Would you like to?” Sirius asked, far too casually to mean what Remus could only assume he meant.

“Like to what?” Remus schooled his face to hide his panic before taking a peek at Sirius over the top of his book.

Sirius was looking right at him, eyelids lowered ever so slightly. He held Remus’ eyes briefly and then his gaze moved down Remus’ face, taking its time to go all the way down his body, then back up to his lips, where it stopped. Remus’ breath caught. There was no way he could misinterpret that. This man, this near-stranger, was indeed hitting on him on the midday train to London.

“Would you like to snog a guy like that?” Sirius asked again, erasing any doubt. His gaze was still heavy, but his voice was casual and free of pressure. “Let’s say…me. Let’s say, right now.”

It was at moments like these that Remus thanked any and all gods that might be listening for books. He pulled his wide eyes back to the words in front of him, taking shelter in their regularity and tameness, even if he was incapable of actually deciphering them at the moment. He had, frankly, no idea how to deal with this situation. He didn’t think of himself as an unattractive person, but he also wasn’t the kind of person who regularly got hit on while riding public transportation. In fact, he could count on one hand the number of times he had gotten hit on at all, and he was pretty sure half of them had been jokes. Sirius, however, didn’t seem to be joking.

Seconds ticked by, and then minutes, and Remus still had no idea what to say. Sirius was horrifically attractive, even in his stuffy Sunday best, but Remus didn't know him at all. What if it went horribly wrong somehow? What if he said yes and Sirius laughed, revealing it had been a joke after all? What if they did snog and Sirius then decided to laugh at Remus’ admittedly laughable inexperience? It wasn't like he had never kissed anyone, but he doubted he measured up to the skill set Sirius had put on display at the party. Or what if it was as wonderful as the tingling sparks already shooting randomly around in his body suggested it would be, but then the conductor walked in, called them fags, and kicked Remus back to the coach car?

Out of the corner of his eye, Remus saw Sirius shrug and pop his earbud back in, and he realized it might already be too late. Suddenly, he didn't care about the disaster scenarios his overly paranoid brain was continuing to predict. He didn't care about any of it. Refusing to accept the offer to snog one of the hottest people he had ever met would be _criminally_ stupid, and Remus liked to think of himself as a relatively intelligent person. So he reached over to his right and slowly slid shut the lock on the compartment door.

The movement seemed to attract Sirius’ attention. He took out his earbuds— _both_ of them this time—and smiled. From a man who showed off his spit-swapping skills with other men at parties and had no problem propositioning strangers on trains, Remus would have expected that smile to be lewd, challenging, or smug. It was none of these. Sirius smiled at him with simple pleasure and a hint of excitement, the way he would smile at a longtime friend. It was actually quite reassuring. Remus let his breath out in a long, relieved motion that unknotted his shoulders, and Sirius slid across the seat towards him and kissed him.

If Sirius smiled at him like they had been friends for years, he kissed him like they had been lovers for just as long. When Remus had imagined kissing a man, he had assumed it would be similar to kissing a woman, except with more stubble, more pushing, and more competing for control. There was some stubble, but other than that it completely defied his expectations. Sirius kissed him with precise, gentle ease, with not a movement or moment wasted. It was neither awkward, as a first kiss should have been, or hurried, as the semi-public setting and the undeniable lust crackling between them should have demanded. There was also an odd, almost alarming level of feeling behind it all, as if they had been hovering around each other for months or years, always wanting but never asking.

It felt so good that it didn’t even make _sense_ , so Remus had to give up on trying to logic his way through it. He had already melted into the corner where the back of the seat met the wall of the compartment, pulling Sirius along with him with an insistent hand on the collar of his sweater vest. Sirius was nearly in his lap now, one leg curled awkwardly underneath him while the other seemed to be tempted to slide between Remus’ legs, and Remus was very tempted to let it do so. He was already struggling not to moan loudly into Sirius’ mouth, already more than halfway willing to let Sirius do _anything_ to him, even here in the not-actually-private sanctuary of the train compartment.

Remus let his hands glide up over the collar of Sirius’ button-up, and the light stubble on Sirius’ neck and jaw scraped delightfully against the pads of his fingers. He explored the contours of Sirius’ head, running over the short, velvety hair and the shaved designs hidden under the longer strands.

“Mmmm. That’s nice,” Sirius breathed against his lips, with enviable calmness considering Remus was already a complete mess. He was using one hand to brace himself upright against the wall of the compartment, but the other was tracing interesting patterns on the outside of Remus’ thigh. “Is there anything else you want? Because I can do a lot more than snog with this mouth.”

As if to demonstrate, he kissed the side of Remus’ jaw and leaned around to take Remus’ earlobe between his teeth. Remus inhaled, trying desperately to catch his breath. He didn’t succeed. “Yes, alright— _yes_.”

He meant it, but it wasn’t until Sirius kissed him again with slow, overwhelming passion and slid down to kneel on the floor of the compartment that Remus realized what, exactly, he had agreed to.

“Fuck,” Remus whispered. So far, the most sexually risqué thing he had ever done was have sex with his (now ex) girlfriend, Clara, on the kitchen floor of their old flat, and that had been uncomfortable and not worth repeating. He bit his lip, glancing at the flimsy compartment door, the thin walls, and the warehouses flicking by outside the train window. The curtains weren’t even closed.

“East Heights,” Sirius said, as if in response to a question. Remus wondered briefly if he had misheard, because it seemed like nonsense, and then he laughed, remembering that was the name of the next closest train stop—Sirius’ way of telling him where they were and how much time they had.

“Yes?” Sirius asked, reaching for the buckle of Remus’ belt, and the last of Remus’ hesitation vanished when he saw Sirius’ tongue dart out to lick his lips in preparation.

“Yes.” Fuck, Remus didn’t care if the conductor walked in, he didn’t care if the youth footie team walked in. He wanted this.

Sirius smiled in that same incongruously friendly way again and made quick work of all the closures and fabric between him and what he was about to do. Remus clenched his jaw at the first contact of Sirius’ fingers on his cock. His hand was warm, gentle, and intoxicating.

“You have one job,” Sirius said, leaning in to nuzzle the base of Remus’ cock.

“I…what?” Remus stammered. He really should not be expected to talk under these circumstances.

Sirius smiled and gathered his hair up behind his head again. “Hold this. Oh, and be quiet.”

Remus nodded and reached out with a trembling hand to hold Sirius’ hair so it would be out of the way. He wasn’t unfamiliar with the necessity of this—Clara’s hair had been even longer—but something about the shape of Sirius’ now-exposed head was making him dizzy. Sirius’ hair was also unreasonably soft. Remus’ fingers yearned to run through it instead of simply holding it up.

“That’s it,” Sirius said kindly. “No pulling.”

What followed made every other blowjob Remus had received fade into obscurity. Sirius seemed to know exactly what to do, where his hands should go, and how to use his tongue _just right._ It must be because Sirius presumably possessed the same type of anatomy, or possibly the explanation was simpler than that and Sirius just had a lot of experience. As the pressure built behind his eyes and Remus got closer and closer to a much-needed release, he began to lean towards the latter. No one would have offered to do this under these circumstances unless they were pretty confident in their abilities.

Sirius was definitely confident, Remus saw when he dared to open his eyes. Even with his mouth stretched wide, Sirius was perfectly relaxed, seemingly immune to the fact that they didn’t know each other and weren’t really in private. When Clara had done this, she had always seemed anxious or half in a rush, as if she was worried it wouldn’t actually work. Sirius, on the other hand, seemed well-pleased to take his time. Remus suddenly wished they _could_ take their time, was suddenly very resentful of the train full of people that were the only reason he wasn’t currently naked and wrapped up with this man. But as it was, there was only a flimsy plastic panel separating them from the world, and it was making Remus more anxious and frustrated every second. Regardless, he was going to come, almost certainly in Sirius’ mouth, and it had better be soon or he was going to lose it and scream.

Sirius seemed to sense his urgency. He had opened his eyes to look up at Remus’ face, clearly trying to track his progress, in his unhurried way. He let the head of Remus’ cock slide to the front of his mouth and flicked his tongue, tilting his head in a nonverbal query that Remus somehow understood perfectly. _You want to come?_

“Yes, _fuck_ ,” Remus whined, overloud, and then he had to seal his hand over his mouth, because Sirius immediately pushed down, sucking, humming, and taking Remus’ cock improbably far down his throat. He pressed his fingers into the sensitive skin behind Remus’ balls, and Remus bucked involuntarily. Sirius prevented the movement with his other hand which was already curled around Remus’ hip, tightening his grip just in time to stop the thrust, as if he had _known_ Remus was about to do it. That and another near-silent hum deep in Sirius’ throat sent Remus over the edge.

His orgasm rushed over him, through him, and into Sirius’ mouth, fast and scalding white-hot. Remus’ last visual as he pushed helplessly against Sirius’ grip was of Sirius half-closing his eyes in clear satisfaction, sucking without a single break in rhythm. Remus would have screamed after all if not for the hand he still had clamped over his nose and mouth. He couldn’t let himself breathe at all for fear of making noise, and even then he ended up making ridiculous half-swallowed moans into his palm. The pleasure arced around inside him over and over, until he was sure he would run out of air and pass out before it was finished.

Finally, his throat relaxed, and he let himself go, sucking in air desperately and struggling to clear the spots dancing before his eyes. Sirius released his cock and gently tucked him back into his clothing, even buckling Remus’ belt. “There, good as new.”

“Better,” Remus mumbled. It was only the truth. He was sure he had never felt this good in his entire life.

“Thank you.” Sirius beamed with pride. He glanced out the train window, where the flickering stream of buildings was slowing to a stop. He stood up, brushing off the knees of his slacks, which were a bit worse for wear. “This is my stop. Ta.”

“Wh-what, wait,” Remus panted, trying desperately to rally himself into coherence. “We could—can I get your number?”

Sirius laughed and shook his head.

“Why?” Remus wouldn’t usually have questioned someone who turned him down, but no one had ever turned him down after volunteering to suck him off on in a train compartment either.

Sirius just smiled and unlocked the door. He was already most of the way through it before he ducked back around to say, “I don’t date straight blokes.”

Then he was out the door, leaving Remus with his mouth hanging open and aftershocks still shuddering through him, and in his idiocy, Remus completely failed to call out a vital correction. He tried, belatedly, to stand up and follow him, but it was too late. Sirius was gone.


	2. The Bar

The next time Remus saw Sirius, he recognized him immediately, but it took him a few minutes to do anything about it. Sirius was standing right in front of him at the ticket line—apparently, he was one of the nearly three dozen people Marlene had invited along to see the latest Star Wars movie—and Remus was staring up, _way_ up, at the shaved designs on the back of Sirius’ head. They hadn’t stood next to each other during their brief but highly memorable encounter on the train two weeks ago, and Remus hadn’t realized Sirius was so extravagantly tall. Remus didn’t think of himself as a short person, but his eyes were barely level with the wings of Sirius’ shoulder blades. Sirius was almost next in line by the time Remus managed to process it all and reached up to tap him on the shoulder.

“Hi.” Remus braced himself against the effect of being looked down on from so far above, but it didn't help much. He melted inside almost as soon as Sirius’ gray eyes landed on him.

“Oh, hello,” Sirius said, with no evidence of self-consciousness, as if running into people he had randomly given head to on public transportation several weeks earlier wasn’t an uncommon occurrence. Maybe it wasn’t. “Are you here with Marlene?”

Remus nodded. “I think most people here are either with Marlene or once removed. You never told me how you knew her.”

“We went to school together.” Sirius started to say something else, but then the person behind the ticket window called him forward. With all the people around them, Remus shortly lost track of him. He dawdled in the lobby, buying popcorn he didn’t really want and looking around for Sirius some more, but it was no good. By the time he got into the theater, Sirius was already sitting several rows up, surrounded by occupied seats.

“Remus, here!” Peter moved his jacket from the aisle seat beside him.

“Thanks, Peter.” Remus sighed and sat down, passing Peter the popcorn as the movie started.

He was thoroughly distracted by all the space drama until someone brushed past his elbow on the way to the loo. Remus glanced up reflexively, and there was no mistaking that silhouette. He struggled with indecision for a minute, but he might not ever get another chance.

“Be back,” he mumbled quickly to Peter, and nearly sprinted to the loo.

This time, when he tapped on Sirius’ shoulder, he didn’t waste any time on small talk.

“I’m not straight,” he said, as soon as Sirius had turned to look over his shoulder at him.

Sirius stared at him incredulously for a second, then he burst out laughing.

“What?” Remus asked, flushing a bit with indignation. “I’m bisexual, I just have never— _had_ never done anything with a bloke—”

“Sorry,” Sirius said. “I’m not doubting you. I’ve just never had someone come out to me while I was taking a piss before.”

“Oh.” Remus glanced down then right back up again, face heating for a different reason now. “Um. Sorry.”

“It’s not a problem,” Sirius said smoothly as he did up his fly. “In fact, it was quite strategic of you. I don’t figure a straight man would have done that, you know? So I’m very convinced.”

“Right.” Remus swallowed and turned to follow Sirius as he went to the sink to wash his hands. “So. Do you…do you want to go on a date, maybe?”

Sirius looked at him in the mirror, eyes guarded by the layer of glass. “Maybe.”

He looked back down at his hands, taking an extraordinarily long amount of time to get them clean. Remus followed his eyes and found himself watching the long pale fingers as they disappeared and reappeared under the froth of soap. Sirius’ fingernails were neatly trimmed into perfect white crescents, and he had two freckles on the back of his left hand. Remus hadn't noticed that before, not even when Sirius’ fingers had been wrapped around his cock. Everything had happened so quickly. The memory sent a warm rush racing through him, and he was so transfixed that he shivered unconsciously when Sirius put his hands back under the water to rinse the soap off.

“A date is maybe,” Sirius repeated. “But if you want, I’ll bail on the movie to go to that bar across the street with you.”

“You want to go right now?” Remus asked, eyes widening.

“Now or never,” Sirius said evenly.

The movie was only halfway through showing, but Remus didn’t care. He slipped back into the theater to grab his jacket.

“Are you leaving? What’s wrong?” Peter asked in a concerned whisper.

“Yes, but nothing’s wrong,” Remus whispered back. “I’m just going for a drink. With Sirius.”

Peter gasped, and Remus instantly regretted telling his roommate about the train encounter.

Marlene, who happened to be in the row behind Peter, leaned forward to ask, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing!” Peter said, in a whisper that wasn’t actually very quiet. “He’s just leaving, _with Sirius_. _”_

A chorus of impressed noises went through the crowd like a ripple of water, followed shortly after by a more powerful wave of shushes and thrown popcorn.

“Do you need condoms?” Marlene asked excitedly. “Here, have condoms!”

“What—no, I—” Remus tried to protest, but he ended up with nearly a dozen condoms stuffed into his pockets, some from Marlene and some from nearby people wanting in on the fun.

Sirius was waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs with a laughing smile barely visible on his face in the changing light from the screen. “That seemed to go well.”

“Yes, I’m now prepared for anything up to and including an orgy,” Remus said dryly.

“Are you, really?” Sirius asked. Remus could hear the raised eyebrow in Sirius’ voice, although he couldn’t see it in the dim light.

“Very funny. Let’s go.”

+++

“A cup of tea with lemon, please,” Remus told the bartender after Sirius had ordered his beer.

“You’re getting tea?” Sirius gave him a very strange look. “I didn’t even think you _could_ order that at a bar.”

Remus shrugged. “Every place has tea.”

“Right…” Sirius looked down at the teacup the bartender placed in front of them with disfavor and grabbed his beer.

Remus took in the whole picture in front of him and felt a little sinking of despair. Sirius was in his leather jacket and fancy jeans again, and he’d put back in all his earrings. His hair was up, putting his jewelry and the back of his head on display. He looked fantastic, and the bottle of beer seemed to fit into his large hand like it belonged there. The cup of tea on the bar in front of him looked positively Victorian in comparison. It didn’t fit in and neither did Remus, in his faded trousers, blue plaid button-up, and fraying gray beanie. Remus’ stomach twisted. It was blatantly obvious that Sirius was way cooler than he was. From the way Sirius avoided his eyes as he popped the top on his beer with an opener on his keychain, it seemed likely that he knew it too.

Remus took a deep breath, replaying their encounter on the train in his mind for reassurance. Sirius wouldn’t have done that if he thought Remus was completely beneath him. There was still a chance. “Um, you want to get a table?”

Sirius shrugged and Remus led them over to one of the many empty booths, hiding a little sigh of relief when Sirius casually slid all the way around the back of the U-shaped booth to sit closer to him. He shouldn’t be stressing about this. He should focus on just being himself and not let the anxiety of what Sirius might think push him into presenting himself as something that he wasn’t.

“So, Remus, what do you do?” Sirius asked.

“I teach high school. Mostly literature and writing, but also history or economics if they need someone for it.”

“Yeah,” Sirius smiled and took a sip of his beer. “I can see you as a teacher. Inspiring future generations with depressing novels and making your poor students get all fluttery over that gorgeous face.”

Remus froze for a full five seconds. No one, not even Clara, had ever called him _gorgeous_ before. “Thanks. Being a teacher is a little like that, yes.”

“Oh, that must be how you know Marlene!” Sirius said.

“Yeah, she teaches the art classes. And Peter teaches algebra and pre-calc.”

“I've seen her stuff, it's amazing.”

Remus nodded. “And what do you do?”

“I'm a bouncer.” Sirius shifted a little in his seat. “I'm going to get us some snacks or something. Be right back.”

He got up to order from the bar, and Remus watched him go, imagining the toned body that must be hiding underneath that jacket and jeans. If Sirius was a bouncer, he was probably very fit. It was intoxicating to think about, especially when Sirius leaned farther over the bar to snag some napkins, but it was also another way they were different. Remus had always been slightly-rounded, and his job didn't involve a lot of physical activity.

Sirius put a plate of chips on the table between them. “And what do you do for fun? Tell me more about the wild after-hours teacher lifestyle.”

“Oh.” Remus took a couple chips to buy himself some time. “I have a garden…and I read a lot.”

“No surprise for a lit teacher,” Sirius said. He didn’t sound judgmental, but Remus could easily imagine it would be mere minutes before he saw Sirius’ eyes glazing over.

“I've written a couple novels,” Remus said, grasping desperately for something slightly more interesting, although ‘novels’ was a generous term for the half-edited mess of character inconsistencies and dropped plot threads that his current works-in-progress consisted of. “I might try to self-publish at some point. And I'm helping my mother write her memoirs.”

To his relief, Sirius seemed to actually be interested in this, especially when Remus outlined his quest to uncover his racial and cultural heritage. Sirius, he discovered, was part Italian and part Chinese, as his facial features had implied, and he was sympathetic to Remus’ plight.

“She came here with me when I was a baby—no husband or boyfriend, all alone. She doesn't like to talk about anything that happened before that, so there must be something terrible. She taught me Spanish, and we’ve got a Puerto Rican accent, as far as I can tell. But she also used to make wot and injera on holidays and our last name is French, so there's got to be multiple layers to it. But she still won't tell me anything about my relatives or her life before she came here. She just says, later, later.” He sighed and gestured at his face. “And, I don't know, what does this say to you?”

Sirius shrugged sympathetically. “Hard to say. Your skin color could be from anywhere. This, though…” He reached up to tug on a wavy lock of Remus’ hair that was dangling out of the front of his beanie. “That's not typical African-type hair. And it's a bit light for Central American.”

“Yeah,” Remus said quietly, suddenly unable to think about anything but how Sirius’ hand had felt in his hair when they had kissed on the train. He found himself watching Sirius’ lips.

“Well, I can only tell a couple things for sure,” Sirius leaned in a bit more, as if whatever he was about to say was a secret. Remus leaned in too, struggling to keep his breathing steady. He had already nearly forgotten what they were talking about.

“You’re not white, and you’re not Chinese,” Sirius said. He leaned against the back of the booth and ate a few more chips, smiling.

“Thanks, that really narrows it down,” Remus said, trying to mirror Sirius’ light tone, which was very difficult under the circumstances. He should also not get up from the table anytime soon, unless he felt keen on embarrassing himself.

“All right, I’ve got another question.” Sirius was rocking his half-full bottle of beer on the table in small circles. “If that's all right? Sorry, I don't mean to grill you. You can ask me whatever you want.”

“I don't mind,” Remus said. “Go ahead, if you've thought of something.”

“Okay. Did you just figure out you're bi recently? Why haven't you ever done anything with a bloke before?”

“No, I knew when I was about fifteen or so. I just never got the chance.” Sirius raised his eyebrows at that, and Remus went on. “I just never had a good opportunity. In uni I started dating this woman, Clara, and we were together until a few years ago.”

Sirius’ eyebrows still had not made their way back down his face. “And in between a few years ago and now…?”

Remus shrugged, taking refuge in his tea, which was finally cool enough to drink. “I just…didn't get around to it. I've been busy. I don't drink, so I never saw the point of going to bars…”

He trailed off, aware that he was giving excuses where none should be needed, and used his spoon to mash the slice of lemon against the inside of his cup. He could feel Sirius watching him, waiting for him to go on, but there really wasn't anything else to say.

“I’ve just got to clarify this,” Sirius said around the same time that Remus’ lemon slice had started to disintegrate entirely. “Are you saying you've only ever had sex with _one person?_ ”

“Two, now…” Remus said weakly. He fought off the rush of embarrassment and continued, “It's not _that_ unusual.”

Sirius abandoned his pseudo-casual pose lounging against the back of the booth and leaned towards him over the table. “You’re right, it's not. I’m sorry, I didn't mean it like that. We just have very different histories.”

“You’re saying you’ve had sex with more people than me. I had kind of already figured that part out,” Remus said dryly. “Want to give me the tally, then?”

“Well, it’s not like I’m keeping score. I don’t _count._ It depends on what you define as sexual activity, but maybe…” Sirius paused to consider, taking another sip of his beer. “Between fifty and a hundred.”

Remus’ jaw dropped. He took a desperate sip of his tea to hide it and ended up draining the cup. He had expected the number to be in the double digits, but not anything like this. Sirius seemed to be about the same age as him. Remus didn’t understand how he would even have had _time._

Sirius had apparently been wondering something similar but in reverse, because he asked, “Is it because your job keeps you in the closet? I mean, I know that kind of discrimination is illegal, but I’m guessing it still happens.”

“It does,” Remus said. ”But it’s kind of the opposite. I mean, they might find an excuse to fire me if someone complains, yes, but I don’t try to hide it. Actually, I try to make it a bit obvious, for the sake of my students, to be a good role model, you know?

Sirius stared at him. “Even though it could get you fired?”

Remus picked up his teabag and let it hang, watching it spin in midair as the thread untwisted. “My best friend in high school was gay. Only no one knew it until we read his suicide note. It was all—” Remus dropped the teabag suddenly, and it fell awkwardly, missing the cup and making a little puddle on the table. “It was all stuff about how he thought he was a freak and he just couldn’t take it anymore. He thought he was all alone. I had no idea.”

“Oh my god,” Sirius whispered. “That’s horrible. I’m so sorry.”

Remus sighed. “He didn’t know I was bisexual. I hadn’t told anyone, just like him. He probably wouldn’t have done it if he’d known. I don't blame myself anymore, but still…” He glanced up at Sirius. “It happens all the time. The kids in my classes…they’re just kids. They’re teens trying to figure out how to be grown-ups. They’re all impulse and bluster, but I can tell sometimes, with some of them…they’re scared, like he was.” He took a deep breath and picked up the teabag again, carefully placing it on the saucer and laying a napkin over the puddle it had made. “So I’m not obvious about it, but I try to make sure those kids can see it, if they’re looking for it. So they won’t think they’re the only ones.”

“Fuck,” Sirius whispered, his eyes fixed on the table in front of him. “That’s…”

“It’s not that big of a deal,” Remus said. “It’s a pretty tolerant school board, and even if someone does decide to fire me, in the end it’s just a job.”

“Says the man with holes in his shoes and a messenger bag that’s about to fray itself open,” Sirius said sharply enough that Remus flinched back. “Sorry, I’m not trying to be a jerk. I’m trying to say I think it’s just hopelessly brave, and it makes me feel like a total sell-out in comparison.” He sighed and pushed the chips around on the plate a little, but he didn’t eat any. “That’s why I was dressed up like a tool on the train the other day. My family doesn’t know I’m gay. If they knew _anything_ about who I really am, they’d cut me off for sure.”

Remus thought about the expensive-looking clothes Sirius wore, the fancy earbuds, even his willingness to walk out of a movie when he had already paid for the ticket. Sirius definitely had deep pockets, and apparently, he wasn’t filling them entirely on his own. “I’m guessing that would be a big deal, huh?”

“Yeah, it would,” Sirius said quietly. He sighed and slumped forward over the table, his easy, confident attitude suddenly nowhere to be found. “So, what do you want to date me for? If what you’re interested in is a good-looking bloke who knows how to give head, I can recommend several people whose lives are a lot less complicated than mine.”

“That’s not it,” Remus said, trying not to be offended that Sirius thought he was so shallow. “Not at all.”

Sirius raised his eyebrow with a sardonic smile. “That’s pretty much all you have to go on with me.”

“I suppose…” Remus looked down at his hands, which were fiddling with the teabag again, trying to sort out how to say what he felt without sounding like an idiot. “Of course, it’s partly that. But also, I…I like the way you talk to me, the way it feels to be around you. It’s like…” He sighed, exasperated with himself. “This will sound stupid. Bear with me?”

“Go ahead,” Sirius said, watching him closely.

“I feel like I _know_ you,” Remus said. “Even when I didn’t recognize you at first, that’s how you treated me. Like you had known me for a long time. I know it sounds ridiculous and corny, but there it is.” He laughed nervously. “I feel like an idiot now. Please tell me I’m not the only one feeling this.”

“No…I feel that.” Sirius’ voice was low and intense, and his face, when Remus finally convinced himself to look up at it, was equally riveting. Remus spent several seconds just looking at him, then he decided to throw caution to the wind and leaned over to kiss Sirius’ cheek. He moved slowly, leaving time for either a retreat or an advance. Sirius chose the latter. He turned his head so their lips met.

Remus sighed with happiness and moved in closer so they could kiss more freely. He felt it now, too, just like on the train. It wasn’t just that Sirius seemed to know exactly how to kiss him, exactly how to bring out layers of sensation he had never experienced before. There was also a feeling of openness unfolding inside him, as if he was looking down a long path filled with possibilities. He couldn’t see them all, but he could imagine so much. He could imagine lying skin to skin as Sirius came in his hand. He could imagine waking up with him, washing dishes next to him, solving problems with him, walking down the street with him and reaching out to hold his hand, just because it would feel nice, just because he could. He had never felt anything like that on the few unproductive dates he had been on, or even with Clara. This was something else.

And there was no denying the heady pleasure of it. Sirius’ teeth on his lip, his tongue in his mouth, his hand that was sneaking up Remus’ thigh under the cover of the table, it was all completely overwhelming in the best way.

He pulled back enough to watch Sirius’ eyes flutter open and then kissed him again, unable to stop himself from answering the open, unashamed desire that was so clearly on display there.

“Let’s get out of here,” he mumbled breathily against Sirius’ lips. He thought about suggesting his place, but in all likelihood, Peter would be back there in just an hour or so. Hopefully, Sirius had a better option. “Take me home, take me anywhere.”

For some reason, this seemed to be the wrong thing to say. Sirius froze and then slowly retreated. He even scooted away a bit in the booth so they weren't touching at all. Remus’ body pressured him to follow, but he didn't. He stayed rooted where he was, completely at a loss for what he had done wrong.

Sirius ran his hands over his face and through the short part of his hair, clearly distressed. “That feeling, it’s just an illusion based on infatuation. You don't actually know anything about me.”

“Isn't that the point of dating?” Remus asked quietly.

“Yes, but…only when there’s a chance.” Sirius glanced over at Remus briefly and looked away. “I’m sorry, Remus. It's just not a good idea. You wouldn't like the things you found out. Don’t get me wrong, aside from sucking up to my family once a month, I love my life. But you wouldn't, and I don't want to see that.”

“Don't you think I should be the judge of that?”

Sirius just shook his head. “No. I couldn’t stand to have you judge me. I don’t even want to try it. I’m sorry, I really am, because I…” He closed his eyes, looking truly miserable. “I think I really like you. But it wouldn't work out. You’re obviously just too…too vanilla.” He opened his eyes to see how this was received and sighed when he saw Remus’ clueless expression. “You don't even know what that means, do you?”

“You’re saying I’m boring,” Remus said, voice flat. It was exactly what he had feared.

“You are not boring,” Sirius said with a sad smile and a little sigh that had the heavy weight of finality behind it. Remus got the impression that he had just been given one final test, and he had failed.

“This is shitty, and I'm not making it any better,” Sirius said. “I'm just going to go.”

He slid out of the booth, not meeting Remus’ eyes as he stood.

“I think you’re being stupid,” Remus said with a defeated sigh.

“I’m not,” Sirius said. “I’ve been stupid before. This is me being smart. Bye.” This last word was said so quietly that Remus almost didn’t hear it. He wished he hadn’t.

Sirius hovered next to him for a moment. His hand reached out as if to touch Remus’ shoulder in farewell, but the trajectory changed at the last minute and Sirius instead touched the back of the booth, leaning on it as if for support, but only for a second. Then he left.

Remus watched him go and then groaned quietly, slumping down to knock his head against the table. He still didn’t understand how Sirius could have gone from snogging him with sweet sincerity to rejecting him in just a few short moments. It was by far the weirdest rejection Remus had ever experienced, and he was still trying to digest it a few minutes later when someone tapped on his shoulder.

“Hey, you gonna finish those?” It was a young woman—more a girl, really—with bright pink hair and a ring pierced through her eyebrow. She had apparently been sitting in the booth behind Remus, and now she was leaning over the side of the booth to point at the plate of chips Sirius had left largely uneaten.

Remus shrugged, not pleased to be distracted from his misery for so mundane a reason, and handed her the plate. To his surprise, she didn’t turn back around to eat. Instead, she balanced the plate on the back of the booth between them.

“That sucked, huh?” she said with a sympathetic wince towards the door Sirius had just walked out of.

Remus turned in his seat to look at her. “Were you eavesdropping on us?”

She shrugged. “Couldn’t help it. You were like four inches from my ears, dude. Don’t worry though. My girlfriend pulled that kind of thing on me at first, like I was waaaay too good for her. It was all bullshit. Can I have that?” She pointed at the beer bottle Sirius hadn’t finished drinking. Before Remus could answer she leaned way over, almost toppling over onto his side of the booth to reach it. She was wearing a bright pink crop top the same shade as her hair, and she had so many neon-colored wristbands and bracelets that her lower arms almost couldn’t be seen. Her lipstick was also a bright color, a blinding shade of blue that stayed in place even as she ate and drank.

“So, I take it that things worked out for you and your girlfriend?” Remus decided to humor her, if only to distract himself.

“If you’re asking if I spent this morning shagging her silly, the answer is _yes_.” Her chest swelled up with pride and she gave him an overly lewd wink. “She came around after a few weeks. Maybe your fellow will too.”

“It doesn’t seem like he wants to be my fellow.” Remus leaned morosely on his elbow.

“Nah, he does, he’s just all hung up,” the girl said with an air of wisdom that was a bit hard to credit given her young age.

“How old are you?” Remus asked suspiciously, eying the open bottle of beer. She didn’t look much older than eighteen, if she was that.

“Young enough that I shouldn’t be talking to you about my sex life,” she said with another leer, prudently sliding the bottle out of his reach. “But it’s cool. I know what I’m doing. I’m an expert, really. I’ve got more fake IDs than you can shake a stick at. One for every occasion.”

He rolled his eyes and looked away from her, out the window. His heart froze in his chest when he realized Sirius was still outside, or at least that had to be him sitting on a sleek black motorbike in the theatre parking lot. He was far away, but Remus would know that hair and jacket anywhere now. His motorcycle helmet was in his lap and his shoulders were slumped in a dejected line, as if he was the one who had just gotten rejected, instead of the other way around.

“It’s him!” The girl had followed his gaze. “You should go get him, like in a movie! Look, he’s obviously all torn up inside.”

Remus was deeply tempted to do just that, but he shook his head. “If it was a movie, I would have something to say to change his mind. I’ve got nothing.”

The girl sighed in exasperation at this, but she didn’t say anything else as they watched Sirius sitting on his bike. He was looking up now, turning his head to look longingly—not, unfortunately, back at the bar—but down the street. Then he turned his head and looked down the street the other way, as if unsure which way to go. He was still for a long time. Then he suddenly jammed the helmet onto his head and revved the motorcycle into life. The sound reverberated in Remus’ diaphragm with painful resonance. Then Sirius was gone, speeding away without ever looking back once.

“What a loser.” The girl shook her head. “I can’t believe he ditched you. You’re obviously a catch. I loved that bit about being a role model to the baby-gays. Very sweet.” She turned to look back at Remus, her expression thoughtful. “Hey, do you really not know what ‘vanilla’ means? Other than a second-class flavor of ice cream?”

Remus frowned. “Apparently not.”

She grinned and winked at him. “Look it up.”


	3. The Club

It was possible that Remus had chosen the wrong person to snog.

The stranger was attractive enough, but the mannerisms that had seemed smooth and confident a few minutes ago were beginning to seem slimy now that his tongue was in Remus’ mouth. Remus winced into the kiss as he redirected the man’s hand away from his trouser zip for the second time. Still, even this was much less awkward than sitting alone in the corner of a kinky sex club trying not to stare, as he had been doing before this man had approached him.

He had just decided he was going to have to enforce a three-strikes rule, when suddenly the lips kissing him were pulled forcefully away as someone hauled the man up from the couch by the back collar, nearly dangling him in the air. Remus gasped, at first from the surprise of suddenly being alone on the couch, and then again when he realized that the new arrival was Sirius.

“Severus fucking Snape! What, you think just because you’ve shaved off that greasy mop, I won’t recognize you?” Sirius snarled. He was dressed in a black tank top and jeans, and he had added a rainbow of shimmering blue, green, and purple highlights to his hair since the last time Remus had seen him. Remus should probably have been worried about his snogging partner, but he was distracted by the curve of Sirius’ bare, tattooed bicep.

“Come on, Black,” Snape whined, trying to squirm his way out of Sirius’ grip. “I’m not looking for trouble. I’m just here to have a good time with my boyfriend!”

He gestured at Remus, and Sirius did a double take. He had obviously not realized who it was Snape had been snogging. He stared for a whole two seconds, then shook his head as if to clear it. “Remus. Hello. _Is_ he your boyfriend?”

Remus shook his head, looking up at Snape with disfavor. “We just met. And he told me his name was Seth.”

Sirius rolled his eyes in fury and began dragging Snape towards the door. “All right, that’s it. You’re out.”

Snape struggled, making a scene. “Come _on!_ I’m not hurting anybody!”

“Like fuck you aren’t!” Sirius growled. “You made Eva _cry_. That was the last fucking straw, Snape!”

“So what!” Snape lashed out, but his flailing limbs bounced off Sirius’ firm grip, completely ineffective. “You make people cry all the time!”

“That’s different, and you know it.” They had reached the door, and by now everyone in the club had turned to watch. Remus saw Sirius’ disgusted look mirrored on many of their faces. Sirius wrenched open the door and quite literally threw Snape out of it. Snape landed in a heap on the concrete outside. “If I see you in my club again, I’m calling the cops.”

Sirius slammed the door shut to a smattering of applause. He waved them off and went over to talk to the woman at the ticket booth entry, presumably to confirm that she wouldn’t let Snape in again, regardless of hairstyle.

Remus took a deep breath and rearranged himself on the couch a little, conscious that many people were now looking over at him, curious about his part in the little drama. He took refuge in his phone for a minute, scrolling mindlessly until Sirius appeared in front of him again.

“So.” Sirius rubbed the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact. “I’ve been wavering between flattering and creepy…and I’m kind of leaning towards the latter.”

Remus winced. “He wasn’t even very flattering, actually. I was about to put him off. Thanks for saving me the trouble.”

Sirius frowned. “No, I’m talking about you following me to my work…which I intentionally did not give you details about.”

“Oh, no!” Remus protested, eyes wide. “I—I didn’t know you worked here. I’m sorry, you’re right, it’s weird.” He started to stand up. “I’ll leave.”

“No, hang on,” Sirius waved him back down. He glanced behind them at the rest of the patrons, most of whom had returned to either chatting or the kind of activities Remus had theoretically come here to watch. Sirius sat down on the couch next to Remus, not quite all the way at the other end, but not very close either. “Why are you here, then? I wouldn’t have thought this was your scene.”

Remus glanced nervously at two women nearby who were doing something unmentionable with needles. “Um. It might not be. It’s just that…well, about two months ago I got inspired to look up the word ‘vanilla.’ I learned a lot about how extracts are made before I realized I was barking up the wrong tree.” Sirius laughed at that, and Remus smiled, instantly feeling more at ease. “And then I learned a whole lot of other things. But there’s only so much you can learn online, so after a while, I decided to stop being a chicken and just go out and see. And when you look up where to learn about kink in London, this is the place that comes up.”

“James will be thrilled to hear our SEO is so on the mark,” Sirius said, relaxing. “He does all our web stuff.”

“You said ‘my club’ earlier. Do you own this place?” Remus asked.

Sirius beamed proudly. “Yep! Well, it’s a co-op. Me and James and Lily and a few other people own it together, and we trade shifts. Speaking of which…I’m on duty.” He stood up, and Remus swallowed to see him from so far below. It was easy to forget how tall he was. “Look, I’m sorry for accusing you. Please, feel free to stay, and play if you want, too. There’s pamphlets and interest sheets by the door, and we even have tea at the bar now.” He smiled wryly. “I had us start carrying it after I heard that all the other bars are doing it.”

“Tea actually sounds nice,” Remus said, licking his lips. Sirius had already started to turn away, his gaze turning watchful and professional as he scanned the room. “Hey, Sirius?”

“It’s Padfoot here,” Sirius said quickly.

“Oh, sorry. Padfoot.” Remus hesitated over the unfamiliar pseudonym, then ran his hand through his hair, trying to regain his cool. “Why is it different when you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Make people cry.”

“Oh.” Sirius glared at the door he had just kicked Snape out of. “Eva didn’t ask for it. I’m a solicitous Dom, not a rape-y freak.” He blushed suddenly, and Remus felt his own cheeks heating. Sirius turned away. “Right. Have a nice time.”

+++

The Marauders wasn’t a large club, but it was laid out well, with screens and potted plants dividing it into smaller sections, allowing multiple scenes or gatherings to take place at once. The bar, being on a raised platform at one end of the space, had a relatively good view of them all.

The tea was helping, and not only because of the normalcy of it. It also gave Remus an excuse to sit and watch from the bar as various scenes unfolded below. He saw examples of some of the kinks he had read about online, and a lot of people were simply having sex, if one could call it simple to fuck someone in front of a crowd. He felt more comfortable up here, watching, but he couldn’t say that anything in particular was drawing his attention. Aside from the low buzz of arousal that was unavoidable when surrounded by people having sex, the biggest spike of interest he had felt since arriving had been from talking to Sirius.

He could see Sirius from up here too. He was making rounds between the various scenes, apparently watching for people trying to break the rules or doing something unintentionally dangerous. Once he stopped to give an impromptu flogging demonstration to another Dominant (the capital looked tacky to Remus’ teacher’s eye, but he had learned that it was an important part of the culture). Sirius seemed perfectly at ease here, which was as it should be, considering that he literally owned the place. Remus also realized, in retrospect, that Sirius taught a lot of the classes they held here, all under the name of Padfoot.

He understood now why Sirius had turned him down before. If this was the kind of thing Sirius was used to, Remus would never fit into his life. He just couldn’t see himself taking a flogging, or kneeling down to be tied, or begging to be fucked in front of an audience. He wouldn’t mind kneeling down for Sirius in private, though. He had a favor to return, after all. It didn't seem likely that he was going to get the opportunity, but he couldn't stop thinking about it.

He crossed his legs, trying to clear the haze of lust, and took another sip of tea just as two people came to sit at the bar table with him.

“Hi, I’m Lily,” the first one, a woman with a fierce cloud of curly red hair said. “This is Gideon, or Gid if you like.” She gestured to her companion, a fit-looking man with long brown hair and an abundance of freckles. “You’re new, right?”

Remus nodded, flushing. “I guess it’s pretty obvious.”

Lily smiled reassuringly. “No, actually. You’re Remus, right? Padfoot mentioned you. His mouth was full of your name about two months ago, you know.”

“Oh.” Remus smiled down at his tea briefly. Then he reminded himself how that encounter had ended, which effectively erased his smile. “What did he say?”

“Today he said he has no idea what you like, and that if I’m interested I’d better come chat you up myself, because he’s not speaking to you again until the end of his shift.”

Remus’ eyes widened, and he swallowed hard, trying to put a damper on the hope this comment brought surging up inside him. “I have a feeling he’s going to be disappointed. I don’t think I’m what he’s interested in.”

Lily pursed her lips thoughtfully. “I know Padfoot pretty well. He’s dating my boyfriend—or the other way around, really, since they’ve been together since they were old enough to snog. Compared to that, I'm a newcomer.”

This comment made Remus realize Sirius had actually mentioned her earlier, when he had talked about who owned the club. It also didn’t escape his attention that this meant Sirius had been dating someone when he had offered Remus a blowjob on the train, or that Lily was apparently completely comfortable with sharing said boyfriend with him. That was called polyamory, Remus knew from his deep dives on Wikipedia. So there were more layers to Sirius’ hesitation with him than just being into kink. No wonder he had said his life was complicated.

“Your boyfriend is James?” he guessed.

Lily nodded. “We call him Prongs here. Anyways, as well as I know Padfoot, I can’t speak for what he’s interested in. But I would love to talk to you about what _we_ are interested in.” She gestured to herself and Gideon with a friendly smile. “We’re about to do a scene, and we need a third. I think you would be perfect.”

Remus leaned away a bit under the pretense of taking a sip of tea. “Oh. Um, I don’t know. I _am_ really new…”

“It’s all right if you don’t want to, of course. But your part would be very easy. Did you fill out one of the interest sheets?”

“No.” Remus could feel the crumpled up sheet in his pocket. He had taken one look at it and gotten overwhelmed by the long list of possibilities. He had felt completely out of his depth when he realized that nearly every one of his checkboxes would have to be marked in the “Not Interested” or the “Maybe” columns.

“That’s all right.” Lily was smiling at him still. She really did seem to be very sweet. She had lovely green eyes and a gently rounded face that was covered with freckles, and her cloud of red hair formed a halo around her head even though the majority of it was tied back in a braid. “Can I tell you about our idea?”

It took Remus a moment to realize she was actually asking and wasn’t just going to go ahead talking regardless. He found this reassuring. That and her smile reminded him of Sirius. He realized that Sirius had probably sent her up here on purpose, perhaps to give Remus an opportunity to try something with what had to be the least intimidating person in the club. Gideon, who was sitting next to her with his eyes shyly downcast, didn’t look very intimidating either. “Uh, sure.”

“Well, Gid here, sweet little sub that he is, is looking to be tied up and roughed up a bit. There will be some humiliation, some praise kink, some nipple play, all his favorites. And a good spanking, of course.” She leaned over to give Gideon a cheerful kiss on the cheek. She saw Remus’ deer-in-headlights look, and added, “But don’t worry, I’ll take care of all that. All we need the third for is to provide the reward, once Gid finally starts to deserve it. We need someone to suck his cock.”

“That’s all?” Remus asked, surprised.

“That’s all,” she confirmed.

Remus bit his lip, looking Gideon over again. He was definitely attractive, and he was obviously already turned on, apparently made so simply by hearing the description of what was about to happen to him. He was flushed, and his lips were slightly parted. He looked like the kind of person Remus might have pulled aside at one of the more traditional types of gay-friendly clubs for a quickie in the bathroom. Remus had made a point of actually getting out and trying a few things in the last two months, so he wasn’t worried about the technical aspects of what Lily and Gideon were asking for. He wasn’t sure, actually, what he _was_ worried about. Maybe nothing—although he had never done anything like this in front of other people before.

“Where would we do it?” he asked, looking down at the various areas set aside for scenes like this below.

“Do you mind one of the quieter areas?” Lily asked Gideon, apparently reading Remus’ mind.

“No, that’s fine,” Gideon said, speaking for the first time. His voice was already soft and shaky with need. Remus felt his own breath catch a bit. He had been smelling sex for nearly an hour now, and suddenly he felt very decided about wanting to have some himself. This was probably the simplest offer he was going to get tonight, and he couldn’t see any reason to refuse.

“All right then,” Remus said, heart pounding.

There were a lot more details to discuss, enough that Remus ended up pulling out his crumpled, unmarked interest sheet to save some time. He felt better when he saw Lily and Gideon’s sheets. Their “Interested in This Tonight” columns weren’t solid checkboxes either, which made him feel brave enough to actually fill out his own as well as he knew how. Lily and Gideon ordered non-alcoholic cocktails from the bar while they talked, and Remus had another cup of tea. No one seemed to be in any rush, and Remus warmed to both of them more every minute. Lily was very welcoming. She beamed beautifully when he mentioned that he liked the music the club was playing; apparently, she made all the playlists. Gideon was mostly quiet throughout. At first, Remus wondered if it was a submissive thing, if he had been told to be passive, but after a while he realized that Gideon was suffering from social anxiety even more intense than Remus’ own. Sympathy instantly made him like Gideon even more, and he made sure to show it, trying to put the other man at ease as much as possible.

“All right, Remus, there’s just one more thing,” Lily said, looking down at the notes she had scribbled on the back of her sheet. “Do you want to orgasm? After Gideon, I mean. You could do yourself or I could…” She made a wanking motion with one hand, pairing it with a silly face that made him laugh and distracted him from feeling embarrassed.

“I’m not sure.” He was starting to get pretty excited about what they were going to do. If the scene went like he hoped, he could imagine he would be desperate to come by the end. But he could also imagine feeling too overwhelmed to want to be that exposed in front of everyone. “I’m sorry, I honestly don’t know. I’ve never done anything even a little like this.”

“Are you comfortable deciding in the moment?” Lily continued to seem unfazed by his inexperience.

“That should be fine.”

“Great!” She pulled Gideon into a one-armed hug. “You excited, Gid? I am.”

Gideon ducked his head and nodded, and behind his bitten lip he looked just as excited as she was.

They went downstairs, and Lily pulled Remus aside for a minute while Gideon went to the bathroom. “Hey, you’ve got your safeword, but you don’t need to use it to stop. We aren’t doing any consent play, so just tell me if something doesn’t feel right, and I’ll do something about it. It won’t be a big deal. Or give me a tap and you can whisper in my ear. It’s supposed to be fun, so promise me you’ll say something if it isn’t, all right?”

“All right, I promise.” Remus was warmed by her concern, especially considering how little he was going to be doing.

“Good.” She gave him a quick hug. “I’m going to go get our supplies.”

+++

Remus knew what to expect, but he still nearly lost it the first time he heard Gideon call Lily _Mistress._ He choked back his giggles as well as he could, but the other two definitely noticed. Lily bent down to speak in his ear.

“Keep it together, love,” she whispered with good humor. Remus nodded, schooling his face back to calm.

She stood up and turned back to Gideon, who was standing naked in front of Remus with his bound wrists tied to a dangling rope. “Remus doesn't think you can take it. Let’s show him what you’re made of.”

Gideon, Remus soon discovered, could take quite a lot. If Remus, who kneeling in front of them on a cushion, was the carrot, Lily was definitely the stick. Remus kept his eyes down at first out of some misplaced instinct for modesty, but that didn't last long. There was too much to see.

Gideon was nude except for a thin black collar, the ring of which Lily used to jerk him around. His long brown hair fell down around his shoulders in loose waves, serving as both decoration and an additional handhold. Kneeling as he was, Remus was eye level with Gideon’s cock, which had been erect and dripping from nearly the moment Lily had strung him up.

Lily was beautiful too. She was wearing a baggy green tank top with large armholes that clearly showed the sides of the black sports bra underneath, and the loose garment flowed with her every movement. At one point, as she lifted up her arm to deliver a blow, Remus caught a glimpse of a patch of underarm hair. It was finely curled and a beautiful shade of orange, like the hair on her head. Her cutoff shorts left her legs on display, and he realized she had hair there too. It was thin and such a lovely sunset-orange that once he had seen it, he couldn’t look away, even though he would normally not have found body hair attractive on a woman.

The hair on her head stood out in an airy cloud, slowly escaping from her loose braid as she worked. For someone whose whole appearance seemed to be defined by these soft edges, she was clearly still capable of tapping into some internal reservoir of sharpness. She moved around Gideon in slow predatory circles, stopping at unpredictable moments to twist his nipples or deliver a series of spanks. Her friendly demeanor had entirely disappeared, as she seemed to take the humiliation part of Gideon’s requests very seriously. Remus winced, at first, to see how rough she was, physically and verbally, even though he knew that was the point.

Aside from the few responses Lily demanded of him, Gideon was silent throughout, as he had been back at the bar. He was clearly embarrassed—Remus could see the full extent of the blush that crept down his chest every time Lily whispered some filthy thing in his ear—but something was changing. His eyes went hazy, and he started to twist towards Lily’s cruel ministrations instead of away. He was covered in a light sheen of sweat and trembling all over as if nearing some sort of breaking point. After a while, Gideon seemed so receptive to everything that was happening that Remus began to long to reach out and touch him himself, just to see the intensity of the reaction, but he remained kneeling with his hands down. He felt like he was starting to understand what this was about, but not well enough to take the control out of Lily’s expert hands.

Lily must have sensed the change too, because when she saw Gideon close his eyes and look away, she pounced, pulling him forward sharply with two fingers hooked through the ring on his collar.

“Enough,” she growled. “That’s _enough,_ Gideon! I won’t have you hiding from us anymore. Don’t float away. I want you here, _right here,_ right now.”

He gasped audibly, the first real sound he had made yet, despite everything she had done, and leaned forward obediently as far as he could go, brown eyes wide and locked with hers. She let him dangle there for a moment and then used her other hand to trace the line of his shoulder with one soft finger. His mouth fell open in the beginning of some sound, but he clamped it back shut, clearly ashamed, trying to twist away.

“Don’t fight it,” she said, low, close to his face. “We want to hear you.”

“Yes,” Remus agreed involuntarily, eyes locked on Gideon’s face, on the tightness in his jaw, the desperation in his screwed-shut eyes. As soon as Remus spoke, he cringed inside. Him talking was not part of the plan, and it made him realize that, on some level, he was getting lost in the scene too. His grip on his knees tightened as he tried to ground himself, to pull himself back out. He was only vaguely aware of the few people around them, watching.

Lily was looking down at him, but if she was surprised or upset, he couldn’t tell. She released her hold on Gideon’s collar and swiftly knelt down next to Remus. He felt the puff of her breath on his neck and only then realized he was thoroughly, desperately aroused.

“Tell him,” she whispered in his ear. “And you can touch him if you want.”

Remus swallowed, looking up to see Gideon had opened his eyes. He was looking down at Remus with such openness, such vulnerability, that it took Remus’ breath away. Lily had laid bare every one of this man’s insecurities and fears, and now Remus could see them all. He felt like he could see all the way to the core of him, even though they hardly knew each other. Gideon’s gaze was heavy with terror and trust. There was only one thing Remus could do.

“I want to hear you,” he said, careful not to let his own nervousness or newness hide how true it was. His hands were already floating up of their own accord. When his palms made contact with Gideon’s thighs, he _saw_ the last little piece of resistance and fear in Gideon’s eyes just…melt away.

Gideon moaned, loud and chaotic and beautiful, and Remus felt the sound rush through his body like raw power. His heart was pounding, his cock was throbbing, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lily smiling.

“I want to hear you,” he said again. He didn’t feel even a shadow of hesitation this time, just a deep, wrenching yearning. He leaned forward to press his lips to the jut of Gideon’s hipbone, acting purely on instinct, and it worked.

“Fuck,” Gideon groaned, and any vestiges of restraint he might have had were thoroughly gone now. “ _God_ , please, _yes_ —”

Remus felt movement next to his cheek and turned his head to see Lily rolling a condom down over Gideon’s cock. He felt a sharp spike of desire, but he kept himself away until he felt Lily’s hand on his head, not pushing, simply giving permission. Gideon was talking nonstop now, his voice hoarse and desperate, babbling pleas and curses as he watched Lily slowly guide Remus’ head closer and closer.

The smell of latex made Remus tense with both anticipation and a residue of the worry he had first felt when they had outlined this boundary at the bar. He had given a few blowjobs before, but never with a condom. He was worried his small repertoire of skills would be lackluster with a barrier, but this was the way things were done here, and he wasn’t about to argue with the reasoning. Fortunately, this fear was laid to rest when he pressed his lips to head of Gideon’s cock and saw the other man’s reaction. Gideon bucked wildly within the confines of his restraints, leaning back into Lily’s arms and thrusting vainly as she held his hips steady.

“There we go, Gid, that’s just wonderful,” she told him, voice now warm and loving. She nodded down at Remus, so he licked up the sides of Gideon’s cock, wetting the latex, and then stretched his lips around the head. Sucking felt a bit odd with the balloon of the condom moving around in his mouth, but he did it anyways, pushing hard against the underside with his tongue, encouraged by Gideon’s half-indecipherable howls and pleas from above. He reached up to hold Gideon’s hips still himself so Lily would have her hands free. He had to dig his fingers in. Gideon was clearly out of control.

“You sound perfect, love,” Lily said, running her hands all over Gideon’s body. “Come for us now.”

It took a few more moments, but Gideon did come, crying out loudly and without any of the shame that had plagued him earlier, and Remus was only too happy to suck him throughout. The reality of what he was doing—sucking a stranger’s cock in front of a room full of people—crashed down on him right after, but he was surprised to find he didn’t care. If Gideon could let Lily take him apart and put him back together stronger than before, then Remus could handle being watched. It was totally worth it to see the expression of wild bliss on Gideon’s face as Lily removed the condom, unhooked him from the bindings, and let him collapse down onto the cushions waiting below. He slumped down, boneless and clearly perfectly content. Remus watched with no shadow of shame, only satisfaction.

Lily was at Remus’ side a moment later, running her hands over his face and into his hair. “You were amazing, love, just amazing.” She leaned in to kiss his cheek. “Do you want to come? Shall I touch you?”

Remus nodded quickly before self-consciousness could catch up with him, and sighed with relief when she reached down to unzip his trousers and pull out his cock. Unfortunately, the hesitation did catch up with him then, just as she began to move her hand. She was wearing a glove, and she must have conjured up some lube when he wasn’t looking. The level of friction was perfect, but he couldn’t resist glancing around, keeping his gaze lowered enough that he wouldn’t make eye contact with anyone. There weren’t as many people watching him as he had fearfully imagined, but he still cringed a little.

Lily seemed to understand. She pulled him further into her arms, shielding him from view with her own body, and he gasped gratefully against her neck. He was already so close that he felt sure he would come any second, but he didn’t. Time seemed to slow as he was lost in her cloud of curly hair, in the skin of her neck. He had an urge to kiss her, to truly bury himself in her softness, but he remembered just in time the box near the top of her interest sheet that had been checked Not Interested and stopped himself.

Then his eyes fluttered open, and he caught a glimpse of someone standing far off to the side, someone wearing a very familiar pair of combat boots. They were turned partly away, but the realization still hit Remus like a rush of warm water dumped over his head.

It was Sirius. Sirius was here, watching him, and he probably had been this whole time. Remus had nearly forgotten about him in the midst of the scene, but of course Sirius would have been watching; it was his _job._ Sirius had surely seen everything that had just happened, just as he was surely seeing Remus now. The idea of Sirius watching was somehow completely different from being observed by strangers. Remus was suddenly overwhelmed, and he moaned loudly against Lily’s shoulder.

“Just like that,” she murmured encouragingly, and the sound of her voice sent him over the edge. He looked down just in time to see himself spurting into Lily’s gloved hand, the ejaculate stark and white against the blackness of her glove, like a silent testament to the fact that, perhaps, he had a few kinks hiding inside him after all.

+++

Once Remus and Gideon were steady enough to stand, Lily led them over to a cushion-filled nook nearby. Inside was a dark-skinned man with a full head of curls held back by a wide, colorful headband. He was typing feverishly on a sleek silver laptop.

“Hello, dear,” Lily said.

The man pulled off his overlarge headphones, his face lifting into a bright, excited smile, and Remus belatedly recognized him as the person Sirius had been snogging at Marlene’s party all those weeks ago, which meant this was almost certainly James.

“Lily! Gideon! You were amazing!”

“Thanks,” Gideon said, still giddy and floppy after the scene.

“Thank you, love,” Lily said. “Will you cuddle with Gideon for me for a bit?”

“Of course!” James carelessly tossed his laptop into the cushions and opened his arms. “Here, you can have the fuzzy blanket.”

“Oh, I love the fuzzy blanket. Thanks, you guys. You’re the _best_.” Gideon flopped down gratefully and curled up against James’ chest, pulling said blanket around his naked body with a delighted sigh.

“I’m going to go clean up,” Lily said. “James, give Gideon whatever he needs, and talk to Remus here, and then in fifteen minutes I want you to come into the back office and make sweet sappy love to me. Understand?”

James’ jaw dropped, and he barely managed to mumble an assent as Lily smoothed her hands over her hair and walked away.

“Oh my god,” James whispered, awed, as he watched her go. He turned to look at Remus. “You must have really got to her. Are you new? She loves the new ones.”

“Yeah, he’s new, but he was _so_ good,” Gideon purred against James’ chest. “It was so good.”

“I love her so much,” James continued, eyes wide with wonder. “I’m gonna do it, Gid, I really am. I’m going to ask her to marry me. I’m ready, I’ve got the rings, and I’m gonna do it.”

“You’ve been saying that for years.”

“I know but this time I’m really going to do it!” James flopped his head back against the cushions behind him. “I mean, technically I’m already married, but she’s against the concept of legal marriage anyways. I have to at least try. I think she might be an _actual_ _goddess_.”

“I know what you mean,” Gideon said.

“Yeah.” James sighed dreamily and then turned to Remus with a cheerful smile. “Hey you, wanna sit down? Here.” He tossed Remus a bottle of water from a pack near his elbow. “Welcome to Aftercare with Prongs. We’ve got water, snacks, cuddles, and words of appreciation, as suits you.”

“I want words of appreciation,” Gideon said, nuzzling into James’ chest.

“You were _brilliant_ , mate!” James said with enthusiasm. “I love it when you get all loud and babble like that, it’s super hot! And now you’re all floppy and—guh!” He gave Gideon a squeeze. “You want head skritches? I think you deserve head skritches.” Gideon nodded, and James ran his fingers through Gideon’s hair, lightly massaging his scalp with his nails.

Meanwhile, Remus opened his water and sat down gratefully, somehow sore all over even though all he had done was kneel on a cushion. He wouldn’t have minded cuddling with someone too, but all he could think about was that this was _James_ , the person Sirius had apparently been with for a decade or longer, and he wasn’t sure how to proceed. Sirius himself had disappeared right after the scene, and Remus hadn't caught a glimpse of him since.

Remus sat down in the nook, but not close enough to touch. “You said snacks?”

“Yeah!” James rustled around in a paper grocery bag. “I’ve got trail mix, blueberries, energy bars, chocolate, and—”

“Chocolate,” Remus said immediately, and James tossed a bar over. It was a fancy gourmet-style bar with nuts and toffee in it. Remus unwrapped it and broke off a piece. The taste made him flop back in the cushions, sighing in bliss. “I think I love this place.”

“Thanks, mate! Hey, what did you say your name was?”

“Remus.”

James nearly dropped the open container of blueberries he was offering to Gideon. He turned to look at Remus, his perpetual smile suddenly transformed into a perfect O of surprise. “ _You’re_ Remus? Wow. I mean, Sirius said you were hot, but, _dude_. I should have given him more props for resisting your charms.”

“Oh. Thank you.” Remus wasn’t sure how to deal with this strange combination of compliment and second-hand rejection.

“Well, now I get why Lily said to talk to you.” James glanced at his watch. “We’ve got ten minutes before my audience with the queen. I’m going to ask you a lot of questions now.”

What followed should have been nerve-wracking, but Remus found himself warming to James with almost the same instinctual level of trust that he had noticed with Sirius. Sirius had apparently told James everything from their conversation two months ago, even the details Remus had nearly forgotten, so James’ questions were far more involved than typical small talk.

“Yes, Clara was my only real relationship,” he said hesitantly. It was becoming apparent that this was something like an interview. Remus couldn’t help wanting to try to impress someone who was so important in Sirius’ life, even if he was starting to suspect that he and Sirius wouldn’t make such a good match after all. “We were together for five years.”

“Who broke up with who?” James asked.

“She broke up with me. It just wasn’t working out.”

“And what did you do?” James was eating trail mix with the single-minded determination of a marathon runner before a big race, one eye on Lily, who was cleaning and putting away the ropes and various other instruments she had been using on Gideon.

“What do you mean? I dated a bit after that, but I never really found anyone interesting.” Until Sirius, he didn’t add.

“No, I mean, what did you do when she broke up with you? You were together for five years! You didn’t try to get her to stay? Oh, sorry, Gid.” He had been waving his hands empathetically in the air, but he returned to stroking Gideon’s hair when the other man made a small noise of protest.

“I…not really,” Remus said, although he was worried this would hint at a lack of tenacity on his part. “It was pretty clear she didn’t want to be with me anymore. And I guess…I wanted her to be happy, even if it meant leaving me.” He looked away and took another bite of chocolate. It had been three years since he and Clara had broken up, and he was pretty much over it, but it felt strange to talk about it in so much detail with someone he hardly knew. “How did you and Si—Padfoot get together?”

“Oh, you know, the usual way. We were basically kids and he was like, ‘Have you ever snogged anyone?’ and next thing you know we’re making out. After that, it was just a slippery slope to dating, fucking, cohabiting, and then…you know, owning the best sex club in London! And here we are, living a life of depraved debauchery. Hey, what did you think about your scene? It was your first like that, right?”

Remus nodded, taking another bite of his chocolate to give himself time to think. “It wasn’t like I had imagined. I thought kink was just about sex. I didn’t realize it could be so…”

“Therapeutic?” Gideon turned his head against James’ chest to smile shyly at Remus. His high seemed to be wearing off, and he had gone mostly quiet again.

“Yeah,” Remus said, smiling back. “It was intense, wasn’t it? You _were_ amazing. And I don’t know how Lily did it. She always seemed to know just what to do.”

James smiled dreamily. “She has a lot of experience. Speaking of which…” He glanced down at his watch. “Two more minutes. Thanks, Remus. I hope I didn’t freak you out too much. The last time Sirius dated a straight-edge guy it did _not_ go well, but he’s awful smitten. How you doing, Gid? You need more time? I can ask Lily to wait…” This last was said with such obvious hesitation that Gideon laughed, sitting up and taking the blanket with him.

“Nah, go have your fun. I’ve got to get home to Quinn and the baby anyways. I traded two weeks of bottle-washing for a night out.”

“That’s what I call dedication.” James stood up and collected his laptop and headphones. “Ta then. Nice to meet you Re—”

“Wait!” Remus said, still processing what James had said. “Did you say Sirius was smitten…with _me?”_

“Oh yeah, mate, you didn’t know? Jeez, I thought it was obvious. See you later!” He gave Remus one more effervescent smile and bumped their shoulders together in a friendly way before heading swiftly across the club to the door marked “Employees Only,” leaving Remus staring after him with his heart turning over and over in surprise and excitement.

+++

It was getting late, but Remus decided to mill around a little. He wasn’t sure, but it seemed like both Lily and James had been giving him hints that it might be worth his while to wait until Sirius’ shift finished. He still wasn’t sure how they would fit together, if they would at all, but he couldn’t make himself leave without at least giving it a chance. He got himself another tea, because he needed the caffeine if nothing else, but this time he didn’t hide behind the bar. He realized now that he had been too far away to really understand what was going on. He wanted to be able to see the participants’ faces.

It still felt weird to watch other people having sex (although a surprising amount of the kink activities he saw didn’t seem to include any actual sex at all), but he reminded himself that this was why people were here. They _wanted_ to be watched. So he watched, trying to make sense of the energy and power exchanges, looking for those moments of transition, vulnerability, and clarity he had seen in Gideon. It was surprisingly interesting.

Sirius was noticeably absent. Remus saw him making his rounds a few times, but he kept his distance. He didn’t even make eye contact, and Remus wondered if he should take this as a sign to give up and go home. He didn’t, though.

After an hour or two, Sirius seemed to disappear entirely. Remus had just decided that Sirius must have gone home, and thus he should too, when he passed by the nook where James had been ensconced earlier. Sirius was curled up there with James in his arms, their faces close with intense intimacy as they talked. When Remus looked over again, they were kissing. The sight made arousal soar up inside him, but he made himself look away this time, turning instead to focus on the people in the club who had actually set themselves up to have an audience.

He was intently observing one such scene when he felt fingers on his shoulder. It wasn’t the first such casual contact he had felt that night, but he knew instantly that it was Sirius. His reaction, as he leaned into the touch, was just as immediate and involuntary. The look in Sirius’ gray eyes instantly made the blood rush though Remus’ body, and all the questions he had been waiting to ask suddenly seemed unimportant.

Sirius leaned down to kiss his cheek, and the casual touch quickly turned sexual as his mouth moved over Remus’ jaw and down to his neck. Remus unfolded into it, his pulse racing under Sirius’ tongue.

“I want to take you home,” Sirius whispered in Remus’ ear, his voice already deep with desire.

Instead of answering aloud, Remus kissed him, wondering anew at the easy fit between them—so effortless and so, so good. Sirius pulled him in so they were pressed against each other fully for the first time. Sirius’ body was firm and warm and large in a way that made Remus’ knees go weak.

“Come on, then,” Remus said, and Sirius smiled and led him out the back door, where his motorcycle was parked up against the wall of the building.

It was a warm night, and the stars were out. After the noise of the club, the relative quiet of the city around them made Remus come to his senses. “Wait.”

Sirius stopped and turned towards him. The only light out here came from a lamp at the end of the block, and Sirius looked oddly vulnerable in the half-glow.

It wasn’t an illusion, Remus realized. Sirius really _was_ vulnerable. He was hard to read sometimes, but underneath all those layers of fancy haircut, punk clothing, and titles like _solicitous Dom_ , there was something very small and afraid—and yet he was also brave, because…here they were.

“I like you,” Remus whispered, draping his arms around Sirius’ neck to give him a little reassurance. “I want to go home with you. But…maybe you were right. Maybe this isn’t my scene. I honestly don’t know. I feel like I’m starting to figure it out, but…” He took a deep breath, conscious that this was going to be a deal breaker. He was going to go home alone after this, he was sure of it, but he wasn’t about to lie to Sirius about something so important. “I can already tell I’m never going to want to do what Gideon or those other subs were doing. I can’t even imagine it.”

He just couldn’t picture himself giving in to that kind of attention and vulnerability, not even in private. It didn’t scare him exactly, but it just didn’t interest him. If anything, he was far more interested in learning to do what Lily had done, but at the moment that idea seemed daunting too.

Sirius’ breath left him in a rush at this confession. As Sirius relaxed, Remus realized that the firmness of Sirius’ shoulders under his hands had been mostly tension. “Oh God, Remus, I don’t care about that. I’m not looking for another sub. I don’t care if you’re into kink at all. I just couldn’t stand the thought of you calling me a freak or trying to put a wedge between me and James. People don’t get it, you know, most of the time. All that matters to me is that you’re not a white-supremacist, kink-shaming, vindictive douchebag who’s going to try to destroy the club if things don’t work out.”

“Did your ex do that?” Remus asked, horrified. “James mentioned something, but that sounds awful!”

“Yeah…” Sirius stepped away a little, shrugging awkwardly so Remus’ arms came down from around his neck. “He had us raided almost a dozen times before the cops gave up. We’re just lucky none of the local cops were crooked enough to try planting something. I had some connections that helped, but it was dicey for a while.”

“Well, I wouldn’t do that. Ever.”

“Yeah, sorry, I figured that out from talking with you before,” Sirius said. “Or I thought I had. But apparently, I’m not the best judge of character, and it’s just so hard explaining my life to people. Let’s just say, the few times I’ve tried it outside of here,” he gestured to the door to The Marauders, “I didn’t get good reactions. So I fool around here a lot, but I don’t really date. I don’t take people home.”

“Except me?” Remus couldn’t help but wonder at that. He understood now why Lily had approached him, and why she had delivered him to James after. They were trying to help Sirius evaluate the situation, to make sure Remus wasn’t another douchebag. Apparently, this time he had passed the test.

“Except you,” Sirius said softly. “It’s like you said before…it’s crazy, really batshit, but I _do_ feel like I know you. Like I can trust you. And also…do you know, after I left the bar that day, I felt like you’d turned my whole perspective on the world upside-down. I went right to my family’s estate, looking—looking like this!” He gestured to himself, laughing. “And I told them all the things I’d been so careful not to tell them for so long, and, God, it felt _so good_. I told them I’m gay and that I’ve been living with James for a decade, and I couldn’t be more in love with him, and that he has a girlfriend and I don’t care—I think it’s awesome! And I told them that we own one of the most alternative businesses in London, where we all fuck around with each other, friends, and strangers on the regular.” He laughed again, so hard that tears started to sparkle in his eyes. “I actually _said_ all of that! I still can’t believe it.”

“That’s amazing,” Remus said, truly awed. He had been terrified when he had come out to his mother and that was even though he knew she wouldn’t care. And he hadn’t had nearly as much to come out about. “How did it go?”

Sirius’ laughter died down into a wry smile. “Like I expected. I’m disowned.” He shook his head at Remus’ worried look. “I don’t care, Remus. They’re horrible people. Homophobia is the least of their sins. Most of their fortune was built on human trafficking. I was undercover with the cops for a while when I was a teen. I helped them gather enough intel to shut that part of the business down, but it takes more than that to break a family like the Blacks. They made my little brother take the fall, and now he’s got twelve more years behind bars to pay for their sins, even though he was barely a legal adult at the time. And they’re still _rolling_ in cash. They never caught on that it was me that ratted them out, so I thought, I’ll just keep going in, keep funneling away whatever it is they’ll let me take. But it wasn’t worth it. I already did what was right. Hanging on like that, just for money…it was eating me up inside.”

“I can only imagine,” Remus said. Even hearing the story made him shrivel up inside with horror.

“Sorry…I guess that was a lot to tell you all at once,” Sirius said, seeing his expression.

Remus took a deep breath and leaned back against the brick wall of the building. “My mother…she finally told me what happened to her.”

“What happen—oh my god.” Sirius’ eyes grew wide as he made the connection.

“Yeah.” Remus swallowed. “She never wanted to tell me where she came from because she doesn’t know. They took her when she was a little kid. But she ran away from them. She thinks she was around six years old. She was in Puerto Rico at the time, and an older couple found her in the street and just kind of unofficially adopted her. She already spoke Spanish, and so did they. Lupin was their last name. That’s where she learned to cook and stuff. But they died when she was a teenager. So she took the money they left her and used it to move here.”

Sirius frowned. “And you? What about your dad?”

Remus grinned. “Apparently he was a singer at a club in her hometown. It was just a one-time thing. She used some interesting metaphors involving tropical birds to describe their encounter.”

Sirius laughed. “I probably don’t want to know.”

“You really don’t. I didn’t.” He smiled and looked up at the few stars overhead. “No, that’s not true. I did. It’s not a fun story overall, but I honestly didn’t expect it to be. I’m just glad I have one now.”

“Yeah, I think I know what you mean,” Sirius said a bit sadly.

“Do you know, half the reason she wouldn’t tell me was because she never married my father? To her that made the whole tale too sordid to relate to my innocent self. Little did she know where I would end up.” He gestured back at the club with a smile.

Sirius laughed and ran his hands over his head in a careful gesture that Remus now recognized was designed to prevent messing up his ponytail. “Indeed. I saw your scene with Lily and Gideon. What did you think?”

“It was interesting,” Remus said. “Really interesting. I might come back, to watch some more. Maybe I’ll try some things. I’m not sure yet.”

“Well, let me know if there’s anything in particular you want to try.” Sirius smiled in that same way he had on the train—open and utterly friendly. Indeed, he went on to say, “But if you don’t want to, it’s fine. Really. I didn’t finish what I was saying earlier. The point of all that story about my family was just that even hanging out with you for an hour made a big impact on me. You _inspired_ me. If you knew what a jaded fucker I am, you would understand what a big deal that is. So, yes,” he reached out to hold Remus’ hand, “I want to take you home.”

Remus stepped up closer to him, even though that meant he had to crane his neck back to see him. “Go on, then.”

Sirius leaned down to kiss him, soft and brief, then he gave Remus a little nudge towards his bike.

“Not on that though,” Remus said. “You can ride with me.”

“What? Why not? I have another helmet,” Sirius said. “Don’t worry, I’ll take it easy.”

“No, I don’t mind that.” On the contrary, the thought of sitting on the roaring bike, holding Sirius in his arms, and flying through the London streets, had Remus’ blood buzzing. “But I can’t leave my car here overnight.”

“But…” Sirius seemed at a loss. He had clearly also been looking forward to putting Remus on his motorcycle. “I can’t leave my bike either.”

“So give me your address. I’ll meet you.”

“You want to drive separately?” Sirius winced, clearly put off by the lack of romance in this plan, but he didn’t seem to have any better solutions. “All right, fine. It’s not far. Just follow me, I guess.”

Remus nodded, already fishing around in his pocket for his keys.

“Hang on.” Sirius caught his wrist. Remus let himself be pulled over, and Sirius leaned him against the seat of the bike, took Remus’ face in his hands, and kissed him.

It was the fourth kiss, Remus realized right before his brain began to fizzle out, but it was far more intense and intimate than any of the previous three. It was more insistent than their first kiss on the train, more confident than the second kiss at the bar, and more knowing than the one inside a few minutes ago. It went right to Remus’ gut in the best way. He shuddered and grabbed Sirius’ belt loops, pulling him in closer until their hips were pressed together.

That was the last coordinated movement he managed before he gave up on pretending to be in control. They were touching from head to toe, and already his legs had parted enough to admit Sirius’ thigh. Sirius’ leg moved against Remus’ hips, and if Remus hadn’t been hard from the moment Sirius had kissed him, he definitely was now. He groaned, feeling overwhelmed by this sudden onslaught, and slid his hands around to grip Sirius’ arse through his jeans, which was just as satisfying an experience as he had imagined it would be. He was already breathing hard. The kissing was becoming disjointed, wet, and messy. Sirius pushed against him in a rhythm that was so intense that Remus had to sacrifice one hand to support their combined weight against the seat of the bike, which must have been quite securely parked on its kickstand as it only rocked a little with each thrust.

Sirius gripped Remus’ head by the hair in a gesture broad enough to be painless and tilted his head back. Remus hardly needed the direction. He leaned back further until his head was resting on the alley wall behind the bike and his feet were only barely touching the ground, gladly exposing his neck to Sirius’ mouth. There was nothing to block his moans now, but he didn’t care.

Sirius’ jerked Remus’ shirt up under his arms and slid both palms over Remus back and around to his stomach, one going upward over his chest, and the other shoving itself into Remus’ trousers and wrapping around his cock, not even bothering to undo the zip.

“God—fuck!” Remus bucked against Sirius’ hand. The motorcycle bucked beneath him in response, and the movement seemed to add to the wild, unplanned nature of what they were doing. They were wedged together so tightly that Sirius couldn’t even wank him, not really, but Remus realized with another gasp that it wasn’t going to matter. Sirius had his cock in a firm grip, and his thumb was sliding over the head in fast, overstimulating circles. Suddenly, Remus wanted nothing more in the world than to come, right now, with Sirius’ hand in his pants, perched on the back of a motorbike behind a sex club he wouldn’t have dared to enter two months ago.

Sirius moved away from the marks he had surely just left on Remus’ neck to kiss him again. Remus whimpered, biting desperately and without coordination at Sirius’ lip, wishing he had the words to ask for more.

“You look so fucking hot right now,” Sirius groaned. Remus opened his eyes to see Sirius looking down between them, watching his hand move. The sight was nearly enough to push him over the edge, but then Sirius’ expression of lustful appreciation changed into mischievous smugness, and he did the unthinkable. He _stopped._

“What—why—” Remus gasped at the sudden lack of contact as Sirius retreated, stepping back a full two feet and wiping his hand on his jeans.

“Just making sure you’re motivated,” Sirius said with a wicked grin. “Don’t want you paying too much attention to the speed limit and losing my trail on the way to my place.”

“Oh— _fuck_ _._ ” Remus knocked his head against the brick wall behind him. “You fucker. As if I’m going to be any better driving like _this._ ”

“You’ll manage.” Sirius smiled and grabbed his helmet, nudging Remus aside with a little peck on the cheek. The brief, casual nature of it was somehow even more intimate than what they had just been doing, and Remus had to clamp down on a lovesick sigh.

“See you in a few,” Sirius said. He climbed onto the bike and brought it to life, leaving Remus to try to reorient himself enough to remember where the hell he had parked.

+++

“Nice place.” Remus pretended to ignore Sirius’ lips, which were pulling insistently on the skin of his neck. He’d had a few minutes to compose himself in the car, and the frustrating, persistent pulse of his cock throughout the ride had convinced him that Sirius deserved to get a little of his own served back at him.

“Mmm, thanks,” Sirius mumbled, already trying to pull Remus’ shirt off.

“I like your artwork. You must get good natural light in here too, huh?”

“Stop talking about my place.” Sirius covered Remus’ lips with his own.

“Oh, you don’t want to talk?” Remus asked teasingly, significantly hampered by Sirius’ tongue trying to ease into his mouth. “You don’t want to—offer me a drink, some coffee maybe?”

Sirius pulled back, suddenly considerate. “Do you want coffee?”

“No,” Remus rolled his eyes. “But if you like, you can show me the best place to fuck.”

A few seconds later, Sirius was pushing him down onto a truly gigantic bed. Remus’ shirt hadn’t made it all the way down the hall, and Sirius was hard at work on his fly. Remus hindered his efforts by yanking Sirius down on top of him, pushing up his shirt so their bare stomachs rubbed together. Even this relatively small amount of skin contact felt gloriously hedonistic. Remus wrapped his hands around Sirius’ bare arms and moaned into his mouth.

“Yeah, fuck,” Sirius agreed breathlessly. “I want to—can I fuck you? God, I want to.”

Remus was already nodding before Sirius had finished talking, but then he realized there was something more he should say. “Yes. Only…I haven’t before.”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Sirius mumbled, muffled against Remus’ shoulder. “That’s all right—I mean, _is_ it? Is it all right? We don’t have to, we could—”

Remus pulled him closer, rolling their hips together and hissing at the pressure. “I want to.”

“Fuck,” Sirius said again.

“You keep saying that, yet you’re not doing it.”

“Oh, I’m going to do it.” Sirius disentangled himself enough to pull off his shirt and jeans, and Remus spent a few moments admiring the monochrome tattoos encircling his torso while he wiggled out of his own clothes. Sirius’ whole upper body was decorated in abstract, rune-like designs.

“Good God, come here.” Remus pulled Sirius back onto the bed the second he was done undressing, running his hands over all that patterned skin, wondering at how smooth it felt even when so thoroughly decorated.

“You like them?” Sirius smiled at the attention.

“Yeah, you’re a real piece of work,” Remus said, putting some snark in his voice to cover up how blown away he was.

“Rude!” Sirius stuck out his tongue, and Remus laughed. “Let me get our stuff.”

Sirius rolled over to pull open the drawer of the nightstand, leaving Remus free to take in the view of his broad, muscled back, narrow hips, and ridiculously perfect arse—all of which was inked in a continuation of the pattern on his chest and arms. It was a sight worth seeing, to be sure, but Remus couldn’t help but be conscious, again, of the differences between them. At least as far as appearances went, they seemed like a horrible mismatch. Remus happened to actually like the way he looked. He liked his gently rounded stomach, his brown skin and freckles, and his casual, comfortable style of clothing, but it was hard not to feel like a bumpkin next to Sirius, who looked like a cologne advertisement in a gay fashion magazine.

Remus took a deep breath and made himself remember Sirius’ lustful expression back in the alley. Sirius obviously liked the way he looked too, and that was more than enough reassurance.

Over Sirius’ perfectly toned and tattooed shoulder, Remus could see what appeared to be a remarkably well-stocked bedside cabinet. From this Sirius gathered a pump bottle of lube, several condoms, and a handful of black latex that turned out to be gloves. It was the same kind of stuff that had been on hand at The Marauders. Remus understood the lube of course, but he was a bit surprised to see the condoms and gloves, as Sirius had made no effort to include barriers in their encounter on the train.

“We’re going to use these this time,” Sirius said, as if hearing his thoughts. “James and I had to use barriers for two weeks after I blew you bare on the train until my results came back, and he was pretty salty with me.”

“Of course, that’s fine,” Remus said.

Sirius rolled back to face him, smiling and pulling on one of the gloves with a casual confidence that made Remus’ mouth water. “So, when you say you haven’t before, do you mean at all? What about on your own, with your fingers or toys?”

“Oh. Um. No…” Remus bit his lip, going hot with embarrassment all over. He felt like he should give an excuse, but he didn’t have one, unless you counted being attached to a boring wanking routine. Thankfully, Sirius didn’t seem to expect an explanation.

“That’s all right. Don’t worry,” Sirius smiled and leaned down to kiss his cheek lingeringly. “It feels awesome. You’ll love it.” His matter-of-fact attitude nearly made Remus burst into giggles. Sirius didn’t seem to possess even the most basic level of self-consciousness that would make him realize how ludicrously cocky he sounded.

“You’ll see,” Sirius continued, perhaps seeing a little of Remus’ reaction in his face. “But most people say it feels a bit weird the first time, at first. Just…give it a few minutes, then you’ll see. Although, of course, if you want to stop, we will. And it won’t hurt. Come here, hmm?”

He lay down on his side, and Remus scooted over a little hesitantly, unsure how he should position himself. He’d seen porn and, as of tonight, some live examples of this activity, but it was hard to translate that into what he himself should do now.

Fortunately, Sirius seemed to know just what to do, and he wasn’t shy about conveying it. He pulled Remus in next to him and tugged gently on Remus’ hip until they were facing each other on their sides. Sirius leaned in, the gloved hand coming up to cradle Remus’ head, and brushed his lips over Remus’ face, still smiling, until Remus sighed, relaxing, and kissed him.

Remus was content, for a time, to simply revel in the already-familiar textures of Sirius’ lips and tongue. Sirius seemed to be of a similar mind until Remus finally started to get impatient and pushed closer, nudging Sirius’ cock with his bare hip. Sirius gasped into his mouth, and Remus was a goner. He wrapped his arm around Sirius’ back, bringing them fully together, moaning himself at the level of skin contact they were able to achieve now that there was no clothing in the way.

Sirius’ gloved hand slid down to Remus’ knee, which he hooked over his own hip. One advantage of the glove became clear a few minutes later, when Sirius’ now-lubricated hand wiggled down between their bodies to wrap around Remus’ cock briefly before moving lower. His finger, rubbing at Remus’ entrance, was far more smooth and slippery than a lubed finger would have been without the glove.

Sirius took his time, but even so, the first push into Remus’ body was a bit shocking. He gasped and pressed his face down onto Sirius’ shoulder.

“Easy,” Sirius murmured into his hair. “It’s all right.”

Remus nodded quickly, because he actually _was_ all right. He took a few deep breaths, trying to process the bizarre sensation. It didn’t hurt—Sirius was being far too gentle for that—but Sirius hadn’t been kidding. It did indeed feel strange. The first few slides of Sirius’ finger hardly even felt sexual.

Sirius didn’t seem phased by this reaction. He kissed the side of Remus’ head and just kept moving his finger in smooth strokes until Remus started to relax, feeling less of the oddness and more of the warmth and glide.

He turned his face to Sirius’ neck, pursuing some scent he recognized. It was James, he realized. Sirius smelled like James’ fruity lip balm. It seemed surreal, that Sirius had been snogging James only about an hour ago, and now he was here with Remus. Remus was relieved to find that it didn’t bother him. He licked at the underside of Sirius’ jaw, wondering if he would be able to taste it, but was quickly distracted by the taste of Sirius himself, which was far more addictive than any lip balm. He started off gently but soon progressed to biting when the angle of Sirius’ neck and the noises he made seemed to invite it. Meanwhile, the rhythm of Sirius’ finger was starting to make his breath catch.

“Better, yeah?” Sirius asked.

“Yeah,” Remus agreed, tilting his head back to kiss him.

“Here.” The angle of Sirius’ finger changed, and suddenly Remus was struck with a bolt of pleasure so intense that it was almost like coming, but it was too sharp to actually make him do so. It was unlike anything he had ever felt, and before he even got a chance to process it fully, Sirius did it again.

“There you go, like that,” Sirius said warmly against his mouth, seeming to voice Remus’ incoherent thoughts aloud. “You’re doing so well.”

Remus wanted to say the same back to him—because, _fuck_ , this felt amazing—but he was too overcome to form a sentence, so he ended up just nodding his agreement.

Sirius pulled his finger out and reached behind Remus to where he had put the lube.

“Fuck, Sirius,” Remus said in the momentary lull. “That is just…”

“Yeah.” Sirius’ gray eyes had gone dark with desire. His hand slid back into position. “More, now.”

Remus nodded, biting his lip as he felt the wider press of two fingers. It still didn’t hurt, though, and it only took a few strokes before he was tilting his hips, silently encouraging Sirius to rub up against his prostate again. He had read about how good this kind of thing was supposed to feel, and was excited to find that it met and exceeded the hype.

Sirius seemed happy to oblige him, and for the next few minutes, Remus was lost to the pulse of Sirius’ fingers. He hardly even noticed when Sirius added a third finger. It was so much more intense than he could have imagined. His skin prickled all over as he broke out into a sweat, and his breathing was out of his control, involuntarily aligned with the rhythm Sirius was creating. He was a shaking mess of need, with his instincts pushing him to beg for more, but he blocked the words by kissing Sirius’ neck. He didn’t want to push himself too quickly, and he would also have been content to stay this way forever, riding high on these incredible waves of sensation that he could apparently feel as long as he wanted to without coming. Sirius had positioned their bodies just far enough apart that there was nothing for Remus’ cock to rub up against. It was making him start to feel desperate, delirious, but he was grateful. There was something satisfying in being kept on the edge for so long.

Meanwhile, Sirius was watching him with an intensity that would have made Remus squirm and melt even without everything else that was happening. Meeting his eyes was more than Remus could handle. Instead, he looked down, torturing himself with the image of their cocks, close but not quite touching, and watching Sirius’ hand move between his legs, the edge of the black glove stark against Sirius’ pale wrist and Remus’ own brown thighs.

Finally, Sirius nudged his chin up to kiss him, slow and decadent with all the heat that had built up between them.

“Ready?” Sirius asked. “Or should we just do this?”

Remus shook his head. He reached behind himself to fumble with the lube until he managed to get some in his hand. He slicked it over Sirius cock, moving his hand teasingly over Sirius’ length. Sirius’ groaned and thrust his hips forward with gratifying eagerness.

“You are _definitely_ going to fuck me,” Remus said, once he had caught his breath enough to speak. His eyes were fixed on the perfect, loose bow of Sirius’ lips, the flutter of his eyelashes. “Right now, Sirius.”

Sirius nodded and quickly shucked his glove. He fumbled around by their heads until he found a condom, which he unwrapped and put on himself, fingers tangling with Remus’. Remus started to roll away, thinking to go to all fours, but Sirius tugged him back onto his side.

“Like this,” he whispered, breath coming fast against Remus’ cheek. He pulled Remus’ knee further over his hip and slid down on the bed a few inches until he was lined up properly. Then there was more lube, and he reached around to grip Remus’ arse with one broad hand, pulling him open, and pushed inside.

Despite Sirius’ reassurances, Remus had expected at least this part to be uncomfortable, but it wasn’t. Apparently, Sirius had prepared him well, because he felt the stretch only as a change in pressure and temperature, as the cool surface of the lubed condom slid inside him, quickly turning warm from their combined heat. Sirius’ cock wasn't larger than his fingers had been, but it was smoother and more solid, and as it was finally all pushed inside him, the rest of Sirius came along too. His leg was snug between Remus’ thighs, and Remus’ cock was pressed against Sirius’ stomach, leaving a dripping smear over the tattoos there.

“Oh God, oh God.” Remus’ breath was coming in short pants.

“Fuck, Remus,” Sirius groaned. His hand drifted up to rub soothingly over Remus’ lower back. “It’s all right, just—just wait.”

“No, it’s good, it’s good.” Remus pulled his face away from Sirius’ neck to kiss him, hoping Sirius would be able to feel his sincerity even through the lust-induced clumsiness.

Sirius seemed to take this as a sign to begin moving. He held Remus in place with one hand and rolled his own hips away a few inches and then back. Remus had always assumed it would take some experimentation to find the right angle, but this didn’t prove to be true. Whether by luck or skill, Sirius’ cock nudged up against his prostate from the first thrust.

Remus gasped and clutched hard at Sirius’ shoulder. This was far more thrilling than just Sirius’ fingers. They were just so _close._ His entire chest and stomach were flush with Sirius’ body, with his cock pressed between them, sliding against Sirius’ stomach as he began to develop a rhythm. Sirius wasn’t pounding him into the mattress by any means, it was just a small movement, little waves in and out, but it was still easily the most intense thing Remus had ever felt.

He couldn't ever remember being this overwhelmed by another person, not with Clara, not with the men he had been pulling recently, not with anyone. He wrapped his arm all the way around Sirius’ back, trying to bring them even closer. He was lost in the mutuality of it, how every roll of Sirius’ hips sent a new wave of pleasure through him then back into Sirius when he moaned and clenched down. He wouldn’t last long like this, not with the whole front of his body singing against Sirius’ skin, with sweat slick between them, with Sirius’ arse flexing soft-firm, soft-firm under his calf. Sirius was trying to kiss him still, but he was obviously starting to lose his coordination as well. They mostly missed each other, and Remus was more aware of the skate of Sirius’ breath, the occasional touch of his lips as the energy between them started to spiral out of control.

Remus slid his fingers up Sirius’ bare back and into his hair, tugging the tie loose to free it, reveling in the soft cascade of black that glowed with the new, oil-black rainbow of highlights. Sirius moaned and his stomach rolled against Remus’ cock one last time and Remus cried out, open-mouthed against Sirius’ cheek. He abandoned Sirius’ hair, afraid he would pull it accidentally, and clutched hard at his shoulder as he came instead, moaning through the white-hot waves that seemed to go on and on as Sirius kept fucking him throughout.

“Fuck, you’re so—fucking perfect,” Sirius was mumbling desperately against his mouth, and then, “ _oh—_ ”

Remus gasped and arched as he felt Sirius’ hips stutter. They were wrapped up so tightly that he could feel every ripple, every moment of tension and release as it spread through Sirius’ body, so intense that he wouldn’t have been able to say, in that moment, which of them was feeling what, which of them was first to let go and start to relax, one muscle at a time, until they were lying together in a mixed-up puddle of dazed, sticky, postcoital bliss.

Slowly, Sirius’ breathing evened out, and Remus’ followed, his whole body still happy to live off Sirius’ cues. Sirius rolled onto his side a bit, revealing the patterns of streaky white that now adorned his stomach. The contrast against his tattoos was hard to look away from.

“That’s a good look on you,” Remus said.

“What, this?” Sirius grinned and dragged his fingers through the mess. Remus leaned over to lick his fingertips, moving on to clean the rest of his skin after. Sirius’ stomach shuddered under his lips as he laughed. “Fuck, Remus. I will never call you vanilla again.”

“That’s not a kink, is it?” Remus asked, licking his lips.

“Looked at in the right light, anything can be a kink.” He kissed Remus’ shoulder and groaned as he rolled out of bed and wandered into the bathroom. “D’you want a shower?”

“Ugh. Will you think I’m gross if I say no?” Remus draped his arm over his eyes, blocking out the light from the bathroom, but only halfway, so he could still admire Sirius’ naked body through one eye. “What time is it even? I don’t think I’ve been up this late in a decade.”

Sirius laughed. “Yeah, it’s pretty late. Here.”

He returned with a warm washcloth that was adequate to the task in lieu of more thorough cleaning. They were shortly back in bed, where Remus was delighted to discover that Sirius liked to be the little spoon. He fell asleep nestled against the warm expanse of Sirius’ back, with his arm wrapped around Sirius’ stomach and their fingers tangled together. As he drifted off to sleep, he floated again in the pleasant sensation that Sirius always seemed to inspire in him, an inexplicable sense of familiarity, even in the midst of things that should have been entirely new.


	4. The Marauders

They shifted during the night, and Remus woke up with his head pillowed on Sirius’ shoulder. He smiled, eyes still closed, and slid his fingers over Sirius’ stomach. Another set of fingers tangled with his own, but the hand was too small, the fingernails too long, for it to belong to Sirius. He opened his eyes to see James, who was lying on Sirius’ opposite shoulder. His dark, wild hair, now free from the headband, was taking up most of the rest of Remus’ field of vision. James smiled, and Remus smiled back tentatively, grateful that Sirius had warned him last night that this might happen, and that he had put his boxers back on in preparation for it.

“G’morning,” James said. “Wanna make out?”

“Don’t listen to him,” Sirius said sleepily from above them. “His morning breath could kill a cow in the next field over.”

“What, _this_ breath?” James poked Sirius in the side and pushed himself up over Sirius’ face, breathing out over him while Sirius shrieked and tried to fend him off.

“Sod off, you manic fuckers, it’s too goddamn bloody fucking early,” a very grumpy voice—Lily’s—said from the far side of the bed.

“Yes, shut it.” Sirius clapped his hand over James’ mouth. “Before you kill us all.”

“Or I do,” Lily said with dangerous intent.

“You’re the one who decided to come sleep in the sex bed,” Sirius said. “Early morning frolicking is part of the package, Lily-love.”

Lily didn’t respond except for a wordless growl that made James go press soothing kisses into her fluffy mess of red curls.

“Oh, fuck, James, brush your teeth,” she groaned.

“Anything for my queen,” James said with sing-song cheerfulness. He swung out of bed—revealing what appeared to be women’s pajama bottoms in bright fuchsia—and sauntered over to the bathroom.

“All right?” Sirius asked, scooting down so he and Remus were nose to nose.

“Yeah.” Remus smiled and Sirius kissed his forehead.

“You don't have to make out with him, in case that wasn’t clear,” Sirius said. “I mean, you _can,_ but you don't have to. He’s just fooling around.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Remus said just as James came bounding back to land on the bed with a bounce that made Lily growl again.

James draped himself over Sirius’ shoulder and beamed down at them. “There, Remus. _Now_ I can kiss you if you like.”

“Shove off, you slut,” Sirius said, his voice warm with affection. “I've only just brought him home, give me at least until tomorrow before you start encroaching on his face.”

James sighed dramatically. “Will he even be here tomorrow?”

Sirius’ smile faded a little, and he looked back at Remus with a hopeful question in his eyes.

“I’d like to,” Remus said. “Well, maybe not tomorrow, I have classes to teach. But soon.”

Sirius smiled wide and wrapped his arm around Remus’ shoulder, pulling him in close.

“Wow.” James looked surprised but not upset, and Remus remembered that Sirius didn’t usually bring people home. “Well, in that case, I’m making pancakes.”

“Hang on.” Sirius said. “You wanna snog me instead?”

“Of course!” James beamed. Then they were kissing, and only a couple inches from Remus’ face. It was a bit overwhelming. Remus only managed to watch for a second or two before he turned self-consciously to bury his face in Sirius’ shoulder.

“You’re never an ‘instead,’” he heard James whisper.

“Thanks, love,” Sirius said.

“Pancakes,” James said firmly. He rolled out of bed and left the room.

“C’mon, Remus.” Sirius stretched in a way that Remus felt privileged to feel and see up close. “Let’s go shower.”

Remus followed him into the bathroom. Right before Sirius closed the door, James popped his head back in the bedroom to call after them. “Oh! Remus, ask him to show you that thing with the conditioner! It’s fucking _ace.”_

“Keep your kinks to yourself, you filthy wanker!” Sirius called back, grinning, and shut the door.

“Um. Can I ask you a question?” Remus asked a few minutes later, as they were taking turns under the spray.

“‘Course,” Sirius said, pausing to consider the large rack of shampoo bottles before choosing one.

“Don’t you ever get jealous? Either of you?”

“Oh, sure. James and Lily were always all over each other when they first started going out, and I was so jealous I couldn’t hardly stand up. I had to really speak up in the beginning, to get my fair share of attention. But I wasn’t about to make them break up or something, not when she was making him so happy. It got better when she moved in. Now we mostly all hang out together, except for dates.”

Remus nodded thoughtfully. This kind of open relationship wasn’t something he was used to, but he could see how pleasant it must be. Living with Peter was all right, but they mostly kept to themselves. Sirius, on the other hand, lived with people he loved, a family. It sounded very nice indeed.

“Besides,” Sirius continued, smiling. “A happy husband is a good thing, and James needs more attention than anyone person could give. Do you have any idea how hard it is to come up with scenes on a regular basis for so many years for a guy whose main kink is for _novelty?_ ” He shook his head affectionately. “Lily is the perfect fit for us. Now we can collaborate, keep him on his toes.”

“So do you guys have sex all together?” Remus asked.

“Oh no, Lily and I don’t have a sexual relationship, and we don’t scene together either. We don’t play well.” He winked and grinned. “Also, I’m way too gay, even for her. But we make evil kinky plots together, to the benefit of all. Speaking of which…” The smile faded from his face bit as he looked at Remus. “Something’s going to happen today. I promised Lily I wouldn’t say what, but it’s…um, very poly. Not kinky, not sexual at all, actually, but…yeah.”

“Not sex, but very poly?” Remus raised his eyebrows. He couldn’t imagine what would fit that criteria.

“About as poly as it gets,” Sirius said a bit sheepishly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you would be here. We had it planned, and Lily doesn’t want to wait…but if this is just too weird you can go home before breakfast.” He winced. “Sorry.”

“Would I need to, um…do anything?” Remus bit his lip and hid his nervousness by taking a turn under the water.

“No, you just hang out and drink tea. It’s going to be fun, and all you have to do is watch.”

“Would you rather I left?” Remus asked.

“No!” Sirius said quickly. “Actually, I…I would love it if you stay. If you’re up for it.”

Remus thought about it for a minute, trying to assess if his tolerance level for adventure had been met yet. It _had_ been a pretty adventurous weekend, but he didn’t really want to go home yet. Also, from the way Sirius was acting, it seemed like whatever was going to happen was something important, and Remus already had an irrational urge to be a part of all the important things in Sirius’ life, even if only tangentially.

“All right. I’ll stay.”

“Yeah?” Sirius grinned and started to put conditioner into his hair. “That’s awesome. And thanks for asking questions about stuff. I know you’re new to polyamory and…everything. You can ask me anything, really. That goes for James and Lily too.”

“Thanks. I will.”

“Good. And…about what I was saying earlier. It’s okay to feel jealous sometimes. It happens. It’s just a thing to talk about. Jealousy is something we can work with. It’s possessiveness that causes a problem.”

He didn’t meet Remus’ eye as he said it, and Remus remembered what he had said last night about his ex. “I don’t think you need to worry about that.”

Sirius smiled at him and ducked his head under the water. “I didn’t start out dating other people either. It was just me and James for a long time. But, after a while we just started to see new possibilities. Now it drives me crazy, this idea that there are only three kinds of important relationships,” he ticked them off on his fingers, “Family, friends, and partners. And of course you can’t _possibly_ mix the last two up. But humanity is capable of so much more. Like, why shouldn’t I have sex with my friends? Why shouldn’t I love more than one person? Why shouldn’t I love a _dozen_ people, if I have the time? Don’t get me wrong, I love James more than anything, but that doesn’t mean I can’t fall in love with someone else too!”

Remus watched and smiled as Sirius revved himself up with this little speech, gesticulating at an imaginary crowd of doubters. He seemed to remember his actual audience right at the end, and he flushed a little, turning away to rinse his hair under the shower. Remus understood why. He had only spent a little bit of time with Sirius so far, but he was already learning to read him. Sirius was worried he had given the wrong impression, that Remus would think he was saying he was already in love after just one date and one night together. Remus knew better. Love didn’t work that way, he told himself, but at the same time he felt a rising, swelling pressure in his chest that felt an awful lot like it.

He stepped forward to wrap his arms around Sirius’ waist, pressing his face into the space between Sirius’ shoulder blades, where there was a cluster of tattooed dots, like stars. “I like it here,” he said softly. “I like James and Lily.”

“Really?” Sirius turned in his arms and smiled down at him, clearly delighted.

“Yes.” Remus kissed his chest. “And I _really_ like you.”

Sirius bent down to kiss him. “That sounds so, so perfect.”

“Yeah,” Remus agreed. “So….do you want to show me that thing with the conditioner?”

Sirius laughed. “Sure, although it’s only really exciting if you happen to have a comeplay fetish, like some people I know.”

Remus just smiled and shrugged, so Sirius reached behind him for the conditioner.

+++

“Hey, Lils, Sean got some video of your pole routine last night.” James was bent over his phone, half his attention on the screen and half on the pancakes bubbling next to him. “Can I put it on the website? It’s fucking hot.”

“Lemme see.” James slid the phone over to her and Lily watched, yawning over her coffee. They were gathered around the table, awaiting the pancakes.

“Yeah, it looks good,” Lily said, returning James’ phone as the last of the pancakes were added to the stack. James put the plate on the table and reached for one, only to have Lily bat his hand away. “Nope, not yet.”

“What? Why not?” James asked, confused.

Lily sat up a bit, running her hand over her hair, rather uselessly. “There’s something you’ve got to do first.”

James looked around the kitchen, obviously checking if he had left the stove on or the refrigerator door open, but everything was as it should be. Remus shifted in his seat, glancing at Sirius, who was carefully looking away, the corner of his mouth twitching. Whatever he and Lily had been planning, it was obviously about to happen.

“Lily, what’s wrong?” James asked.

“Nothing,” Lily said. “Why don’t you get down on your knees?”

James eyebrows went up. “Lils, I don’t want to scene right now, I’m hungry.”

“It’s not a scene. Go on, you won’t be sorry.”

James sighed and got down on his knees at Lily’s feet with obvious reluctance, then looked back up at her expectantly.

“Anything in particular you feel like doing while you’re down there?” she prompted.

James bit his lip and looked around, his eyes coming to rest on the apex of Lily’s thighs, which was barely covered by the overlarge T-shirt she wore. She snorted and crossed her legs. “Guess again.”

James groaned a little and rolled his head back on his neck, staring pathetically at the ceiling. “But I don’t _get_ it, and I’m hungry! The food’s getting cold—”

“For fuck’s sake,” Sirius said, grinning. “He’s terrible at this. You want me to give him his line?”

Lily shook her head, smiling. “Let’s try a hint.” James nodded eagerly, and she said, “Really, I should have told you to go down on _one_ knee.”

The room was utterly silent for several seconds while James’ eyes got bigger and bigger, until an entire ring of white was visible around his brown irises, stark against his dark skin. Then he shrieked and leapt up from the floor into Lily’s lap, straddling her and babbling, “ _Really?_ Do you mean it? Will you really?”

“Will I what?” she asked, eyes wide and innocent above a mischievous smile. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

“Will you—will you marry me?” James asked breathlessly, holding her face in his hands.

“Yes,” she grinned and yanked him forward for a brief, fierce kiss. “Not legally, of course, but we can have a wedding.”

James squealed and bounced in her lap a bit, obviously not put off by this in the least. “A fancy wedding,” he insisted. “I’ve got it all planned. Oh, it’s going to be _beautiful._ ”

“You can plan it all,” Lily said and leaned forward to kiss him again, more lingeringly this time.

Meanwhile, Sirius’ hand found Remus’ under the table. He was smiling and even looked a little teary.

“Babies?” James asked when they came up for air.

Lily smiled softly at him. “Babies.”

He beamed and kissed her with a slow sincerity that made even Remus feel a little wet around the eyes. Sirius’ breath caught, and he glanced at Remus, eyes shining with excitement, mouthing the word _babies_ at him in apparent delight. Remus smiled back, surprised by how easy it was to share in their happiness.

“All right, now you can eat,” Lily said a few minutes later.

James reached over to pick up the top pancake with his fingers without relinquishing his place in Lily’s lap. The pancake lifted away to reveal two simple golden rings.

“The rings!” James gasped, dropping the pancake in favor of picking them up. “How did you find them? I hid them so well!”

“But you told me where they were,” Sirius said.

“You _helped?”_ James gushed. He climbed out of Lily’s lap to go sit on top of Sirius instead. “That is so sweet, you’re so sweet!” He kissed Sirius forehead and then his mouth. “Look!”

He put one of the rings on his own finger, where it lay next to the one he already wore, and reached out for Lily’s hand to put hers on. “Do you _see_ this?” he asked the room at large as he kissed her hand. “This makes me so happy.”

“Me too, love,” Lily said, retrieving her hand so she could serve herself some pancakes.

“Me three,” Sirius said. “I was just telling Remus how important it is to have you around, Lily, to keep this needy thing busy.”

“Yep,” she agreed.

“So true.” James turned back towards him, beaming. “I’m going to put you in the most _beautiful_ suit for the wedding, my love. I’m going to put _flowers_ in your hair. Orchids, I think.”

Sirius laughed. “You are not putting orchids in my hair.”

“I am, actually,” James said confidently. “It’s my wedding, so I get to decide. I’m going to braid it up around this side, like this…” he stood up to pull Sirius’ hair out of the clip Sirius had put it up with after their shower and began braiding it into a crown across the top of Sirius’ head.

“This is his obsession,” Sirius explained to Remus as he ate a pancake himself. “My hair. This,” he gestured to the shaved patterns on the back and sides of his head, “is all him. You should have seen how excited he got when I finally told him he could dye it.”

“And look how beautiful it is!” James crowed, holding the highlighted areas up as evidence before incorporating them into the braided design. “Don’t you think it’s perfect, Remus?”

“It does look good,” Remus agreed. “Gorgeous, actually.”

“I’m glad you think so.” James nodded his approval. “I like you, Remus. You can come to my wedding. It’ll be on the first of May.”

“It will?” Lily asked around a mouthful of pancakes.

James nodded serenely and continued, still addressing Remus. “And I know it’s cliche to say it, but I mean this quite literally, you are welcome here, but you are not to harm a _hair_ on Sirius’ _head._ ”

Remus grinned. “I would never.”

“Good. Here, have a pancake.” James finished off Sirius’ braid with a flourish and finally sat down in his own chair, plopping a pancake onto Remus’ plate as he did so.

Remus accepted it gladly. He already felt very at home here, with the three of them. The newness of it all didn’t take away from the truth of what he felt when Sirius’ scooted his chair up next to Remus’ own so their legs were touching, or when the three of them made eyes at each other. He already knew that this little family, this little home, was a lovely place where, someday soon, he might be able to belong.

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Here's the mix that plays at The Marauders, curated by the one and only Lily Evans:  
> https://8tracks.com/xinasvoice/marauders-clubmix
> 
> Follow me on tumblr for thrilling writing updates: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/xinasvoice


End file.
